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The other day, noted creepy dude Ben Shapiro offered a woman who is 1000% out of his league a whole lot of money to spend the night with him. To spend the night "debating" him, that is.



The woman Shapiro Indecent Proposal-ed was Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and he offered a $10,000 donation to her campaign to debate him. Which, aside from not being nearly enough money to have to listen to Ben Shapiro's voice for an hour, would actually be very illegal.

Surprisingly, Ocasio-Cortez did not immediately bust out a copy of Robert's Rules of Order and leap at this very thrilling opportunity to engage with the king of facts and logic and reason himself.

Was it because, as Republicans on the internet have suggested, she is a coward? That she is simply too afraid of having her ideas challenged by someone of Ben Shapiro's intellectual prowess? No, it's because Ben Shapiro is an awful human being that no woman in her right mind would want to stand in line next to at the DMV, never mind "debate." Also debating stupid ideas puts those ideas on par with not-stupid ideas. This is why you never see scientists "debating" flat-earthers. There is no need for anyone to "debate" Ben Shapiro on his idea that "Arabs like to bomb crap and live in open sewage," because it is not an idea worth considering for a single moment past "Jeez, that guy's an asshole."

As a Woman With Opinions On Stuff, I am also often challenged to debates by men I could give a fuck less about. Sometimes they are randos on the internet; sometimes they are my sister's ex-boyfriend who for some reason kept telling her "I wanna debate your mom and your sister!" before he ever met us; sometimes they are men just out in the world who think that "debating" me will inevitably lead to some kind of sexy hatefuck scenario. As a woman, in general, men often feel they are entitled to attention from me and then lash out when they are not given said attention. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, clearly, is also familiar with this tune.

Ocasio's comparison of the offer to catcalling was incredibly accurate. The very essence of catcalling is some asshole dude thinking he's entitled to your time and attention when he is not, with an implication that if you do not offer said man the opportunity to dazzle you with his charms, you are a bitch. It is not understanding that he is indeed, truly repulsive to the object of his desire, simply by being the kind of person who pulls that shit in the first place. That is what Ben Shapiro is doing. That is what every idiot man on the internet yelling at women to "debate" him is doing. Whether it's sexual in nature or not, no one is entitled to anyone's time.

Naturally, Shapiro missed the point:

Naturally, Shapiro's acolytes then proceeded to tell everyone about how he was far too holy to be a catcaller, on account of how he had been a virgin until his wedding night.

Of course, if you ask me, this speaks a lot more to the fact that very few women want to be in Ben Shapiro's presence, even for two minutes. Frankly, do we even know that he's not still a virgin? He very well could be. Sure, he's got a kid, but you don't have to have sex to have a kid, here in the future. I'm not saying he definitely is, merely that I know where I'd put my money.

Men like Ben Shapiro cannot fathom that they are not worth a woman's time, and are enraged by this. He's got visions of "Ben Shapiro DESTROYS Liberal Woman With Logic and Reason" YouTube videos dancing in his little head -- videos that would exist and be called that whether or not it were actually true, which it probably wouldn't be.

Most of us have discussions with people we disagree with all the time. I know I do. Hell, I pretty much start from the premise that no one agrees with me on anything, ever, and simply consider it a pleasant surprise any time anyone actually does.

Most of us do not, however, bust out the podiums and call it a "debate." We don't demand other people's time and then throw tantrums when it isn't given to us. That's weird. That is a weird thing to do. When someone says to me "I want to debate you," I immediately know that this is not a person I want to be around, or discuss anything with, for any reason.

However, the reason men like Ben Shapiro prefer "debate" to simply writing out their opinions, the reason why conservatives get so much of their information from YouTube videos and talk radio and television news, is because it's more difficult to immediately fact check things that way than if they are written down -- especially when they are written on the internet, with links to sources. It's easier to trick people with misinformation when they can't immediately look up whether you are actually telling the truth or not. Your "opponent" can say something completely ridiculous and untrue, but if you cannot immediately disprove it off the top of your head, you lose. Debate is all about rhetorical trickery -- a person who is especially skilled at this sort of trickery can "win" while still being completely wrong. People can say things they "feel" are true that are not actually backed up by facts, and people who also feel those things are true will say, "Yes, clearly this person is winning this here debate." It is not actually a very good way to compare and contrast ideas. It is, in fact, a terrible way to do that.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez does not owe Ben Shapiro any of her time or attention. No one owes anyone their time or attention. If you are a man who is sitting around, feeling frustrated, wondering why women won't take time out of their lives to "debate" you, you should perhaps consider that you are an unpleasant person with stupid ideas that no one wants to talk to or be around.

DEBATE OVER.

[Twitter]

How about someone gives Wonkette $10,000 to NOT debate Ben Shapiro, huh? If that's too much, we'll take whatever change you've got lying in your couch cushions. Click here to tip us!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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