Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Media Watchdog Ben Shapiro saw something nasty on the teevee. He did not like it. No sir,he did not like it one bit. He did not like Chris Matthews' interview with Barack Obama one single itty-bitty bit. As the interview aired, Shapiro tweeted,

A new television show asks the question: how close can platonic male love get without spilling over into sexuality? It's called #Hardball.

And then he wrote it all up for Breitbart, with the headline "Date Night: Matthews Throws Softballs to Obama" -- get it? Balls! Just like the title of the show, only soft! Reading between the lines, we almost think that Shapiro is suggesting that Chris Matthews and Barry Bamz are gay homosexuals who are in Big Gay Love with each other and will make gay sex soon. Or perhaps we're overthinking it.

Mostly, Shapiro is unhappy that Matthews failed to subject Obama to the sort of tough-minded journalistic grilling that the serious journalists on Fox might give to a Sarah Palin or Ted Cruz. But you sort of wonder what kind of imagery shows up in Shapiro's dream journal when he writes stuff like this:

Matthews began by asking Obama about young people not signing up for health insurance. Obama said they should. Obama then made this stunning statement: “Sometimes on your station, MSNBC, I've been blasted for being too willing to compromise.” This nonsense passed without question from Matthews, who obviously was not in the mood to blast the president with anything but waves of hot love.

Elsewhere, we get "Matthews drooled" and acted like someone on an "awkward date." Why awkward, Ben? You were saying that they're in loooooove, after all. In another beautiful line, Shapiro compared the network to a fluffer on a porn set:

MSNBC then cut to break by playing a segment from Obama’s 2004 speech at the Democratic National Convention in a blatant effort to breathe some magic into the wilting commander-in-chief.

As his focus shifted to Obama, Shapiro dropped the gay-romance stuff, finally; apparently the sexual tension was too much even for him. Obama's praise of Pope Francis, who he said "is showing himself to be an extraordinarily thoughtful and soulful messenger of peace and justice," somehow sounded arrogant to Shapiro: "Obama then blessed the Pope." And so on.

But by then, since the ghey imagery had reached a peak and then tailed off, we suddenly lost interest.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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