Benghazi Committee Republicans Super Jealous They Don't Get Cool Emails Like Hillary

Oh really?

We are only a few hours into Hillary Clinton chewing gum and kicking ass at the Benghazi Committee hearing, but we have already learned a new thing. No, not that the Republicans on the committee are gonna look like a bunch of doofuses who made a HUGE mistake by giving Hillary all this time to show America how good she is at knowing stuff, and they are not. We already knew that.

But here is a new thing we have learned. Those dudes and lady-dudes be soooo jealous that Hillary was secretary of state, and she is people who knows people, and she gets emails that are very different from great deals on boner pills and opportunities to invest with Nigerian princes that fill in the inboxes of piddly little congressdicks from Nowheresville, USA.

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Like Rep. Mike Pompeo, from Kansas. Who is he? Some congresshick from Kansas. And he, like the rest of the Republicans on the committee, is very obsessed with emails Clinton received from long-time Clinton family friend Sid Blumenthal. Apparently, the truth about how four Americans died in Benghazi all comes down to why Hillary Clinton received so many emails from her friend Sid. Who knew?

So Pompeo says BLUMENTHAL BLUMENTHAL BLUMENTHAL, and asks how come he sent emails to Hillary Clinton and how come she read them, and even sometimes wrote back to him, and why won't she just admit the two of them did Benghazi together, HUH?!

POMPEO: A man who was a friend of yours, who'd never been to Libya, didn't know much about it ... every one of those reports that he sent to you that had to do with situations on the ground in Libya, those made it to your desk, you asked for more of them, you read them, you corresponded with him, and yet the folks that worked for you didn't have the same courtesy.

CLINTON: Congressman, as you're aware, he's a friend of mine, he sent me information he thought might be of interest, some of it was, some of it wasn't, some of it I forwarded to be followed up on, the professionals and experts who reviewed it found some of it useful, some of it not. He had no official position in the government, and he was not at all my adviser on Libya. He was a friend who sent me information that he thought might be in some way helpful.

POMPEO: That's OK, I have lots of friends, they send me things; I have never had somebody send me a couple of -- (laughing) -- a couple of pieces of intelligence with the level of detail that Mr. Blumenthal sent me [sic] every week. That's a special friend!

Hold the phone, shut the front door, and WHOA IF TRUE! A pissant congressman from Kansas doesn't have the same kinds of friends who email the same kinds of information as the former first lady, former senator, former secretary of state, and future president?!?!?

This. Changes. EVERYTHING.

Apparently, the committee's Republicans believe if they say BLUMENTHAL enough times, Clinton will confess that yes, she did Benghazi, and yes, she planned it with Sid Blumenthal, and it's right there in those emails she's been hiding, and then Blumenthal will NEVER be president, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Wait what? What is the point of this again? If Americans do not give a flushed poo about Hillary Clinton's emailgate -- and they do not, as we know -- do you think they give a tinkle about some dude they've never heard of who sent her emails? Perhaps we need a new poll: Hey, Americans, if you knew that SID BLUMENTHAL sent emails about Libya to Hillary Clinton, would that make you care?

But nah, we probably don't need to do a poll on that. Pretty sure we already know the answer.


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