Benny Johnson Says Biden Gonna Do Devil Stuff At SOTU Just Like Sam Smith Did Devil Stuff At Grammys

The people who literally believe there is a real guy named The Devil, who sees them when they're sleeping, who knows when they're awake, who puts wanguses and boobyknockers on their TV screens just to tempt them into gayness and lesbianism, who stares at them while they masturbate, who puts pronouns in their dictionaries to make them transgender, they are still having a shit fit.

First Sam Smith and Kim Petras went to Party City and bought some Sexy Devil costumes and wore them at the Grammys while they sang a song called "Unholy," which is a sin word. Now tonight is the State of the Union by "Joe Biden," which is also a sin word. No word on whether he stopped at the Party City for his own Sexy Devil costume but we're going to assume the answer is yes and lead the call for impeachment if he doesn't.

Benny Johnson from Newsmax, known plagiarist, who has been panic-babbling about the Grammys Satan worship, delivered a whole diatribe today where he came up with as many ways as he could think of to call Sam Smith fat — he said Smith needs to get on their "Hell-oton," get it? — and then explained that Satanism is resurgent and Joe Biden is going to do a lot of Satan stuff in the State of the Union tonight, because obviously:

Note that the Breitbart article Johnson was using as a source also felt the need to repeatedly call Sam Smith fat. It's definitely what people who aren't consumed with self-hatred do all day.

Anyway, the Devil and Joe Biden:

JOHNSON: I sort of wanted to put a button on why satanism is so resurgent. [...]

The reason they do this is quite plainly laid out in humanism. They worship themselves. They worship the system of government, Marxism, that does away with the church. [...]

These godless Marxists look to not God but to themselves for rulership. And we’re going to see a lot of that tonight in Joe Biden’s State of the Union. In fact, that’s his – that’s how Joe Biden organizes his own life.

Joe Biden organizes his life around satanism. Neat. Good old Catholic Malarkey Critter Joe Biden.

That does sound like him.

And these people wonder why literally no normal people have any idea what the fuck they are ever talking about.

Come join us for the liveblog tonight! It is at 9 p.m. ET, which is 8:00 in Central and ????? in the mythological fantasy hallucination time zone of "Mountain."

Right Here! The State Of Our Union Is ... BLOGGED!


Open thread!


[Media Matters]

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