Best Paultard Spam Of The Week

adam sandler gets stranded on a desert island with... paultards... and stuffEver since we called the Paultard's Dec. 16th moneybomb an "abject failure," Wonkette's inbox has flooded with spambot hate mail the likes of which we've never (well, rarely) seen. Among the things we've learned the last two days: (a) We "neo-libs" fawn over Bill Clinton (b) I "am a child," but "Ron Paul is a man" and (c) the word "slatternly" can be used without irony. But there's just too much to recount briefly, so after the jump, we bring you some of the best Paultard mail of the week. Maybe we're trolls, but at least we're not abject failures.


The finalists...:

* guess what? You're a damn idiot! The money bomb was a TOTAL success!!!! thousands of donations averaging less than $100 each, that's REAL SUPPORT! Fuck what the polls say, they're controlled by the media!

* I am a fellow journalist, and write for a Pulitzer-Prize winning paper, and even here my stories on Ron Paul are excluded from the paper. I have to ask, what is it about freedom, personal liberty, a sound monetary system and world peace that scares you?

* Your blog is a failure... Just what do you and the rest of neocons and neolibs have againest the Constitution and liberty?Judging by the fact that your blog post received a paltry 7 Diggs, it seems that the only "abject failure" in this instance is your abysmal "declaration of war" against the Ron Paul campaign, which, even with the added support of your drooling Neo-Con attack dogs over at Red State, is falling flat on its face while the Ron Paul Revolution soars in popularity.

* Yeah, here's a tip... you're a bunch of fucking hard-ons. Get bent. Enjoy the 1,000,000+ other emails just like this one. This is probably the most traffic your site will ever see, so, soak it up.

* RON PAUL 2008 IN YOUR FACE DIRTBAGS

* Anti-Kudos for your disgusting treatment of Ron Paul this year.

...And the two winners:

* So the slatternly ladies of Wonkette ignore the real cesspool of corruption and Machiavellian diabolicalness all around them in D.C. and elsewhere and would rather deny, project and plunge into insanity by stating that Ron Paul's 6.6 million dollar moneybomb was an abject failure. The most money ever raised by any political candidate in a single day. With the most contributors - 50,000. Apparently they [the wonkettes] have been infected by the same virus [more like soul cancer] that afflicts the Republican administration and congress [with the exception of Ron Paul]: Lie, obfuscate and attack on all fronts. Your whole left/right paradigm is falling apart and Ron Paul emerges as the only honorable person who cuts through the bureaucratic b.s. and states the truth. Too bad you're too blind to see it.

* What do you spend your time doing in those precious moments between watching Dancing with the Stars and text messaging your three friends with vomit-ladden political insights that have the sophistication of a drunk sorority girl's tampon? Perhaps, you spend those times ejaculating to the covers of all the establishment magazines that are courting you precious little Obama? Way to show 'em! You guys are really gonna change things! WEEEEEEE! I really don't know what you do, but I do know that in his free time, Ron Paul spends his time memorizing the letters of correspondence between Jefferson and Adams during the drafting of the constitution. And when he's done with that he debates the moral philosophy of Hayek's opinion on interstate federalism with other economists over a friendly game of bridge. You are a child. Ron Paul is a man.

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