Biden Issues Presidential Proclamation, It Is VROOM VROOM BEEP BEEP!
Joe Biden is the president of the United States, and he is such a self-proclaimed "car guy" that The Onion has been making gabillions of dollars selling shirtless posters of him washing his Trans Am for years. (Shut up, Wonkette, we don't know how The Onion makes its money.)
And that guy went to Michigan today to tell the American people that fuck you, shut up, don't tell me I can't drive anymore just because I'm the president, you shut your mouth with that malarkey, I'll fuck you up, VROOM VROOM BEEP BEEP, God bless America. (OK, maybe that is neither an exact quote nor a presidential proclamation. But it should be.)
Look at this guy test-driving the new electric Ford F-150.
President Biden test drives Ford’s new electric F-150 on a track https://t.co/ICAlHtpLrW— Mario Parker (@Mario Parker) 1621364411.0
Sorry, it's not a very good video. It could be literally anyone driving that truck. It could be Hunter Biden's laptop driving that truck.
Here's a better shot:
Biden says the Ford is seriously fast. Then to prove it he asks press to get out the way and floors the accelerator… https://t.co/QgtRVzAADZ— Sebastian Smith (@Sebastian Smith) 1621364708.0
And another one, from White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki. (This is your press briefing for the day, it is VROOOOOOM BEEP BEEP.)
Just a quick stop during a test drive of the Ford F-150 lightning https://t.co/uPBFDSX6k4— Jen Psaki (@Jen Psaki) 1621364464.0
"This sucker's quick," said the president, who had just gone VROOM VROOM.
As Car & Driver explains, the new F-150 Lightning is officially coming out tomorrow, but Biden just leaked it like a common leaker when he stood in front of it and talked to people.
See? Here he is, just standing in front of shit and leaking electric truck secrets.
“I wanted to be here the day before you show the next generation of the best selling vehicle in America. Thank you… https://t.co/o2V04lSI7w— Mark Truby (@Mark Truby) 1621360793.0
Shots fired, Chevy truck owners. Shots fired.
Anyway, yeah, then he drove it.
For comparison, here is video footage of the previous president going VROOM VROOM.
Our bad, that's not what that footage was at all.
If you want to know more about Biden's trip to Detroit, read a different damn news website.
If you are done with news for the day like we are, OPEN THREAD.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
Wonkette is only funded by YOU. Keep it coming, if you are able!
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.