SecDef Lloyd Austin

One of the weirdest things about the last couple months of the Trump administration (besides, you know, THE COUP) was how Donald Trump kept stuffing mindnumbingly stupid sycophants whose balls had barely dropped into important positions at the Pentagon and NSA. Were they there to destroy evidence? To try to give the military illegal orders to help Trump overthrow democracy? Was Trump just being petty and squirreling as many of his (and Devin Nunes's) hardline idiots into these positions to try to burrow them in, in order that they might continue fucking America long after Trump's departure? Pretty sure we'll be learning more and more about the true answers to those questions as time goes by.

One of those idiots, Michael Ellis, the Nunes stooge Trump put in as the top lawyer at NSA, got his ass put on leave on the day of Joe Biden's inauguration. Within hours, President Biden also sent Trump's final (acting) Defense Secretary Christopher Miller packing.

Trump had also stuffed the Pentagon's Defense Business Board — kind of a weird outside board that advises the Pentagon on how to create "efficiency" and "business solutions" for the military; if it sounds corporate-y, that's because it is — with a clown car full of his irredeemable idiots. He fired nine of its existing members, and shoved sycophants Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie up the board's butt, along with some others. Trump also fired a bunch of people from the Pentagon's Defense Policy Board, including Henry Kissinger, Madeleine Albright, and Eric Cantor. Boards like this are supposed to be non-partisan, but Trump doesn't like "non-partisan," he likes people who suck his ass.

Well, our new Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin just fuckin' fired hundreds of people from the Pentagon's outside advisory boards on Monday. He's starting from scratch, because Donald Trump destroyed America that much, let's go with a clean slate.


Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin dismissed hundreds of members of the Pentagon's policy advisory boards Monday, ousting last-minute Trump administration nominees as well as officials appointed by previous administrations.

By removing members, effective Feb. 16, Mr. Austin avoided selectively firing those appointed by the Trump administration. The defense chief also ordered a review of at least 42 boards to be completed by June, defense officials said.

"Advisory boards have and will continue to provide an important role in shaping public policy within [the Department of Defense]," Mr. Austin wrote in a memo to the Pentagon's leadership. "That said, our stewardship responsibilities require that we continually assess to ensure each advisory committee provides appropriate value today."

Sometimes you just have to punish the whole class. Sorry to all the board members who weren't putting chewed gum under their desks or fucking under the bleachers.

As the Wall Street Journal reports, Austin last week stopped the "onboarding process" for Trump's latecoming nitwits — you know, getting their security clearances and shit — explaining that "[b]ecause of their potential access to classified information, it can take months for someone to get through the security clearance process and formally join a board." So golf claps for Donald Trump, you tried.

On top of Bossie and Lewandowski, other Trump defense board appointees fired by a Black man this week include Newt Gingrich and retired Brig. Gen. Anthony Tata, whom Trump had placed on the Defense Policy Board. You'll remember Tata as the guy who couldn't get confirmed by Mitch McConnell's Senate for the top policy job at the Pentagon because of all his anti-Islamic and otherwise viciously racist tweets. Trump ended up using one weird trick to shoehorn Tata into the job anyway,

Then-(acting)-Defense Secretary Miller had shoved Tata onto that board on January 19, the last full day of Trump's disgraced presidency. Oh well, no longer! Trump moved on those Pentagon boards like a bitch but he just couldn't get there, we guess.

You just hate to see it.

Just kidding, it's great. We're sure the Biden administration will continue to find Trump idiots burrowed into the federal government, like cat shit buried in a long-forgotten litter box, and he will scoop them out and throw them in the garbage, and we will write about it, and that will just be very nice, the end.

[Wall Street Journal]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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