Oh, fiddle! Does Wonkette owe an apology to Joint Chiefs chair Mark Milley and Defense Secretary The Other Guy Named Mark, who today through a Defense Department spokesperson expressed shock and sadness because they had NO IDEA Trump was about to tear-gas those peaceful American protesters so he could walk across the street and desecrate a Bible and a church for his latest fascist Choose-Your-Own-Adventure photo op?

No, Wonkette in fact does not owe Milley and Esper an apology, because we didn't say they were lying. We said, and we quote, "Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you," and we made fun of them for not knowing that when you lie down in shit, you get covered in Trump, or however the expression goes.

But it turns out those guys really might not have known exactly what was going to happen, especially the part about law enforcement attacking American citizens on Trump's orders, because the Washington Post is reporting who personally requested that little stunt:


Attorney General William P. Barr personally ordered law enforcement officials on the ground to extend the perimeter around Lafayette Square in Washington to push back protesters just before President Trump spoke Monday, a Justice Department official said.

Is there an errand that man will not perform for Donald Trump?

Folks were wondering yesterday why Barr was all walking around yesterday with no tie on looking disheveled, like some kind of husky backwoods swamp creep bargain bin Big Lots dirty Cracker Barrel dump truck pig turd transmogrification of Roy Cohn. Guess this is why. Dude got dirty yesterday.

In other Bill Barr news, Trump's manservant told the New York Times in an interview published yesterday, based on absolutely zero evidence, that he's just "real worried" about mail-in ballots, just like his boss is, because here's why:

"I haven't looked into that," he cautioned, offering no evidence to substantiate that this was a real possibility. But he called it "one of the issues that I'm real worried about," and added: "We've been talking about how, in terms of foreign influence, there are a number of foreign countries that could easily make counterfeit ballots, put names on them, send them in. And it'd be very hard to sort out what's happening."

You will be the opposite of surprised to learn that Barr, as ever, is lying right out of his ass in service of his boss.

Here, let Democratic Rep. Bill Pascrell explain:

Or you could listen to election lawyer Michael Li from NYU's Brennan Center for Justice, who gave Barr a "bless your heart" before explaining in this thread all the other reasons Barr is full of shit right now:

AND there's a signature match requirement, AND Li notes that all of this is kind of a moot point, because "the states that will be potentially decisive in 2020 all already allow no-excuse vote by mail," with the exception of Texas. So what's Barr bitching about?

Bless Bill Barr's heart indeed, except for how really, he's just lying, because one of his jobs as Trump's Roy Cohn is to help Trump scream about how the election was #rigged, when Joe Biden beats the shit out of him in November.

And apparently sometimes he gives orders for law enforcement to attack American citizens on American soil. So that's cool.

[Washington Post / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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