Bill Barr's Got 40 Days Of Fascism Left In Him After All!



The other day, speculation was running rampant that maybe Attorney General Bill Barr might quit early to spend more time telling toy army men to gas tiny toy priests in his great big sandbox in his backyard where he plays and plays and plays all day. It made sense, at least for Barr's self-serving purposes. Donald Trump has reportedly been very angry grrr argh at Barr for saying out loud that there wasn't any major fraud in the election where Joe Biden thumped Trump's sad ass. And it didn't even seem to appease Big Daddy that Barr revealed he had appointed John Durham as a special counsel, so he could continue finding NOT SHIT in his hard-hitting investigation into the Deep State Russia Hoax What Framed Donald Trump.

Trump was maybe gonna FIRE BARR, so Barr was maybe gonna CAN'T FIRE ME I ALREADY QUIT. After all, one thing Bill Barr wants, which he's never getting again, is respectability within his field, and it stood to reason that maybe Barr thought if he wasn't the last rat to drown in a pile of piss and regret as the ship sank, he might have a future after this.

But oh well, Bloomberg is reporting that Barr is choosing to stay with Donald for the sake of the children fascism after all. He can handle 40 more days and 40 more hot and sexxxy nights, right? Maybe he gets a free just-in-case pardon from Trump if he stays. We just don't know. Of course, the caveat in Bloomberg's reporting is that Barr will be staying unless Trump does go ahead and fire him.

In which case LOL.

Bloomberg does note that maybe he's seen an opening to do some more stupid damage on his way out, by perhaps appointing a special counsel to investigate HUNTERBIDENHUNTERBIDENHUNTERBIDEN. So that would be fuckin' stupid. Also would be a particularly nasty way to set Joe Biden up to look like a common lawless criminal like Donald Trump, if he wanted to fire a guy for looking into his son.

But whatever, motherfuckers, have at it. If it goes half as well as John Durham's investigation into OBAMAGATES!!11!, then it'll be ... wait, is it possible to mathematically calculate the results if it goes "half as well" as the Durham investigation? How much damage would "not worth a tinker's fuck of shit" do to the Biden administration? We don't know, we don't "math" for a living.

One thing's for sure: January 20 at high noon, both fuckers GONE.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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