Bill Cosby Knows Media Only Calls Him A Rapist Because He's Black, Also A Rapist

He's tired of racists telling him to pull his pants up

It has come to this. After 50 women -- that's right, five-ohhhhh -- have accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault and rape, Team Cosby has decided it is time for a whole new approach to defending The Cos in the court of public opinion:

Bill Cosby is claiming that he’s the victim of racism and a witch hunt after scores of women came forward claiming the disgraced comedian secretly plied them with drugs and raped them. [...]

Cosby’s team will insist he’s been targeted because he’s black and famous. They are also determined to use terms like “lynching,” “witch hunt” and “persecution” in their public relations campaign to salvage what’s left of the actor’s image, a Cosby insider reveals to Radar.

Will Team Cosby specifically appeal to black members of the media? Yes! Will Team Cosby hint-hint that white ladies (even though not all of his victims are white, but meh, details) accusing a black man of rape is one of them old-fashioned racist racisms that proves it is UNPOSSIBLE for Cosby to have actually done all this raping? Done and done!

“I’m saying, based on what I know of our country and our country’s history, and when we look back on the kinds of things that were being done to African-American males, I find it incredulous that no one would have believed [his white accusers] enough to check their story,” [Cosby attorney Monique Pressley] she added.

Are we throwing up all over ourselves? We are!

This new tactic is necessary because the prior one -- of Cosby admitting he illegally obtained sleepy-time drugs, from his GYNECOLOGIST, to do sex to the ladies in their "somewhere between permission and rejection" holes, but it wasn't rape because they would have wanted it so bad, oh yeah, if they'd been conscious -- was not entirely effective. HOW STRANGE.

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So Team Cosby, apparently avid readers of Yr Wonkette, will now launch a PR blitz to tell all the black journalists they'd better stop doing all that racism to Bill Cosby, RIGHT NOW, for solidarity, brother, and cease and desist all of their reporting on lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady after lady, five-ohhhhh times and counting, who say Cosby raped them, like he is some kind of a rapist, because of how he is a rapist. You know, (eyeroll) allegedly.

[Radar Online via Complex]


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