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Yeah, you better watch your back.Bill Kristol's inaugural New York Times column appeared today and it confirmed our suspicion that Kristol's head is so far up his ass that he views the world from inside his own mouth, which might, actually, explain his world view. He's like to thank Obama for opening up a can of whup-ass on Hillary in Iowa, not that he in any way likes anything about Obama and, oh, by the way, he has some really, really good reasons for that:


"We don't want to increase the scope of the nanny state, we don't want to undo the good done by the appointments of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, and we really don't want to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory in Iraq."

Bill, may I be the first to ask: what the fuck world you you live in? Victory in Iraq? The good done by the Alito/Roberts court includes what exactly? A sphincter says "what"? Exactly.

Also, by the way, Mike Huckabee totally sucks and no one wants to vote for him but everyone likes his real-guyness and his ability not to change his mind on his policy positions and play the guitar. Oh, and Bill's Republican friend in New Hampshire is "savvy" (way to kiss ass, Bill) enough not to vote for Huckabee but thinks he might be the best candidate. So, Huckabee is the anti-intellectual candidate that no one will vote for but he'll win anyway? How does that work, exactly?

Bill also, like, totally knows that if Huckabee wins the Republican nomination this summer that Bloomberg will run as an independent and take votes from Obama. Naturally, it totally won't be too late to really get in the race or anything and those rumors that he's considering running aren't just a ploy for positive press or anything, they're a real interest of Bloomberg's despite the fact that he still hasn't actually done anything about running in all these months it's been "rumored."

And he quotes that other great conservative intellectual, Michelle Malkin, because nothing solidifies an argument like quoting Malkin. Seriously, the reason I don't read Dowd and Friedman is because I find their work tedious, annoying and unenlightening, which I guess makes Kristol actually the perfect addition to the New York Times. I'm sorry to have doubted their wisdom in hiring him.

President Mike Huckabee? [NY Times]

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Guys!

Last

month

was

crazy!

First, NASA sent its last message to the Mars Opportunity rover! THEN scientists said that all the insects are dying but not the human-looking ones in the GOP. As if THAT wasn't enough, some brave pendejos with grandes cojones are going to try and get seafloor creatures from under a giant ice shelf in the ANTARCTIC!

So, yeah, all three of those stories happened last month. Let's cover each in a science lightning round.

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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is terrible at her job. Her objectives and overall mission are evil, but if it's any consolation she can't effectively implement them. After buying her Cabinet position at Sotheby's, DeVos has spent the past two years trying to roll back Obama-era policies designed to protect and actually educate students. Unfortunately for her evil schemes, federal courts keep smacking down her slimy efforts. It's getting embarrassing.

DeVos recently had to cancel $150 million in student loan debt after courts said her attempts to stop the "borrow defense" regulations from taking effect were in fact illegal. Last week, she was forced to instruct colleges to follow the Obama rule barring mandatory arbitration agreements. She got kicked in the teeth earlier this month when a federal judge ruled she'd acted illegally ... again. This time, DeVos tried to delay an Obama-era guideline that required states to address racial disparities in their special education programs. Judge Tanya S. Chutkan called the delay "arbitrary" and "capricious."

The rule, drafted under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, would require states to identify districts with "significant disproportionality" in the number of minority students channeled into special education services, segregated in restrictive classroom settings or disciplined.

OK, so what was the "education" secretary's issue with this rule? We want to imagine there's some rationale we're not seeing and DeVos is more than just some yacht-collecting monster.

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