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Birthdays In the News, Progress On the March

One, two! - WonketteSo many exciting things happened on June 4, it's crazy!


* It's the 40th anniversary of the Six Day War, in which Israel defeated a triple-pronged prong attack by Egypt, Jordan and Syria in about a week or so. Everything has been peaceful between the Arabs and Jews ever since, so Mazel tov, everybody!

* And a very happy birthday to the Cold War, which just turned 60 years old and doesn't look any older than ... well, Vladimir Putin.

* UN Secretary General Angelina Jolie turns 32 today, an age when everyone really starts regretting those stupid fucking tattoos. Just think, by the time Angelina is Madonna's age, nine out of ten children will belong to her and Brad Pitt George Clooney.

* Ohio Senator for Life Howard Metzenbaum turns 90 years old today. We think he retired, but who really knows.

* The Battle of Midway began on this blessed day in 1942. We won, and there were no more wars. The end.

* And way back in 1919, Congress approved the 19th Amendment and invented the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin. It is amazing how simply allowing women to vote immediately ushered in a New Era of wise, fair and intelligent politicians that still guide us today. The Anthony dollar remains the symbol of our country.

* On this day in 1892, the libtards in San Francisco started the Sierra Club, which saved the environment.

* Also on June 4 -- but this time in 1989 -- our enemies the Red Chinese Communists began killing the pro-democracy students in Tiananmen Square. Many thousands of kids were slaughtered. President George H.W. Bush invaded and occupied Beijing, freeing tens of thousands of political prisoners and putting the Communist Leadership on trial for crimes against humanity. Today, China is both a world economic power and one of the world's greatest free democracies. (Oh, wait, wrong universe. Actually, Washington did nothing about China, but did invade Panama and kill many thousands of innocents that year for no particular reason. Sorry.)

On This Day [NYT]

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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