Bland Humanoid Romney Unsure Even of His Stance on Music He Likes


Here is some hilarious archaeological evidence of hair gel-powered mannequin Mitt Romney's lifelong struggle to convey a basic sense of humanity courtesy of the year 1994 when he was campaigning for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat: an energetic high school nerd interviewer lets candidate Romney rattle off his talking points before asking him whether he likes the music playing in the background, but Mittens looks like he's just been asked a trick question: "Well, I like music of almost any kind, including this." Good save! How well did Mitt's "think of me as an oversize blob of flavorless Jell-O" tactic work for him in 1994? (Hint: the answer is, Ted Kennedy won the race even in a year that overwhelmingly favored Republicans.)

Are we being a little unfair to Mittens? Why should we ask him to have convictions about music when we know he actually has no convictions about anything at all? Here's from a delightful little piece the LA Times ran this weekend discussing Mitt Romney's history of destroying jobs and bankrupting businesses to enrich himself and his investors:

Bain expanded many of the companies it acquired. But like other leveraged-buyout firms, Romney and his team also maximized returns by firing workers, seeking government subsidies, and flipping companies quickly for large profits. Sometimes Bain investors gained even when companies slid into bankruptcy.

Romney himself became wealthy at Bain. He is now worth between $190 million and $250 million, much of it derived from his time running the investment firm, his campaign staffers have said.

Bain managers said their mission was clear. "I never thought of what I do for a living as job creation," said Marc B. Walpow, a former managing partner at Bain who worked closely with Romney for nine years before forming his own firm. "The primary goal of private equity is to create wealth for your investors."

Maybe Mitt Romney likes when people take note that he does not seem human? It is more useful than all of them noticing he is actually just an awful human. [LA Times/YouTube via Wonkette video super-operative "Andrew K."]


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