Looks Like Kyrsten Sinema Just Deported Martha McSally To McLoserville
Senator Sinema, FTW! Maricopa County dropped another batch of votes last night, bringing the Arizona Democrat's lead up to about 32,000. McSally would have to take the remaining uncounted votes by a margin of 22 percent to win at this point. Which means Martha McSally is more likely to melt from someone throwing a bucket of water on her than to take Jeff Flake's seat.
Remember last Wednesday when Trump gave that bonkers presser and bragged about "retiring" Jeff Flake?
Hey, THANKS, DONALD!
We'll wait for the AP to make it official. But if Dave Wasserman is calling it, then the fat lady is singing.
BYE, GIRL! Take your ACA-hating, anti-choice, Planned Parenthood-defunding, pre-existing condition-lying, equal pay-opposing ass back to Tucson. Make sure to give a nice welcome to your successor in AZ-02, Democrat Anne Kirkpatrick. Hey, maybe Arizona Governor Doug Ducey will appoint you to fill out John McCain's old seat if John Kyl decides he can't face another winter in DC. The voters didn't want you, but maybe you'll get to run for the last two years of McCain's term in 2020. Keep telling them that lie about voting to protect pre-existing conditions -- it'll work next time for sure!
Perhaps we're being too hard on Rep. McSally. She hasn't descended into conspiracy loon lies about vote counting, like the rest of her depraved Republican cohort. Maybe because it always takes forever to count the votes in Arizona, so leaving a bunch of sound bites around complaining about it is counterproductive when you're contemplating another run. Maybe McSally actually holds out hope that she can pull off a win. Whatever the reason, golf clap for not shouting a bunch of wild nonsense about cheatin' Dems and summoning up a Russian troll storm to amplify the crazy.
We have no compunction whatsoever about dancing on Dana Rohrabacher's political grave, though. Putin's favorite congressman can fuck right off to a dacha, or join his dirty hacker pal in the Ecuadorean embassy. In fact, we'll have a whole post on that for you in a bit. But while we're in the Golden State, it looks like the Blue Wave is still washing a final few Republicans into the Pacific. The Cow Lover and Mister Sixty-Count Indictment held their seats easily (WTF?!?), but still ...
Luckily, the Republicans have a plan to stem the tide in California.
THAT SHOULD DO IT!
And speaking of bad takes, we'd like to pen a letter to our old selves. The sadder, angrier people who went to bed in the wee hours of Wednesday morning wondering what the fuck was wrong with America. The people who were so gutted when the Florida and Indiana numbers came in that we just grimaced at the news the Democrats had taken back the House. Those people need to CHILL OUT and learn some damn patience. Because not everyone votes on the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November. Arizona, where 75 percent of votes are cast by mail, is likely to become the norm nationwide, and we may not know the final election results for a week or more. Which means that the Wonkette liveblog might be ummm ... less than definitive. So no more crying in our beer before the results are in!
McCaskill, Donnelly, and Heitkamp lost. But Sinema, Tester and Rosen won, Florida Senate is anybody's guess at this point, we're still alive in Mississippi, and we're closing in on 40 flips in the House.
This was a huge blue wave, and we should celebrate it. Onward Wonkette soldiers!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.