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Bobby Jindal Enrages Volcano Monitoring People By Mocking Volcano Monitoring People

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Bobby Jindal's speechwriters, they are Gods. Check out this little one-two he pulled on the Democrats. See, he sets it up all good-like by saying that the stimulus package included "$140 million for something called 'volcano monitoring,'" like wtf is that right, and then KA-CHING: "Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C." Get this guy a Washington Post column! He'd fit right in, because everyone already despises him.

The liberal scientists are furious:

While the claim was factually inaccurate (the $140 million will go to the US Geological Survey, of which volcanic research is only a part), scientists are also decrying Jindal's comments as a blast of hot volcanic air.

“Apparently the governor of Louisiana doesn't remember any of the major volcanic eruptions in recent history,” said a professor of geology at Yale University who has studied volcanoes around the world, Mark Brandon. “Volcanic monitoring right now is absolutely essential for protecting lives and property. The amount of money invested compared to the amount of money returned is trivial. It's not just some hobby—if the governor were in a volcanic eruption he'd realize that the people who do that work are very useful in protecting you from direct hazards.”

Oooh, well aren't you smart, Mr. Yaleypants, what with your Yale teachy job in the fancy sciences. If you love volcanoes so much, why don't you gay-marry them? AT YALE? For the rest of us *serious* folk, however, it's quite clear that those volcanoes will be less likely to erupt if we just give everyone a capital gains tax cut.

Jindal's Eruption of Hot Gas [Daily Beast]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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