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Bobby Jindal To the Rescue: He Will Sign Birther Legislation

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A suddenlybrown-looking Jan Brewer may devastated a hopeful nation by vetoing presidential birth-certificate legislation, but don't lose hope that a deeply conservative state Barack Obama has no chance of winning will try to keep him off the ballot in 2012. Pro-volcano-destruction activist Bobby Jindal is stepping up. "It's not part of our package, but if the Legislature passes it we'll sign it," Jindal's press secretary said of Louisiana House Bill 561, which would require presidential candidates to provide an "original or certified copy of the candidate's birth certificate" and a "sworn statement or form that identifies the candidate's places of residence for the preceding fourteen years." Because Obama was born in Kenya and rented an apartment on one of the moons of Jupiter for eight months in 1999.


He said he has no reason to doubt Obama's citizenship. "I don't purport to be a 'birther,'" [bill author Rep. Alan] Seabaugh said. "This is from the standpoint of cleaning up an area of the law where there appears to be a gap."

Stop being so modest! You can call yourself a birther, sir. You've earned it. We'd even go so far as to knight you! "Grand Knight of the Birthers" sounds like a fitting title to us.

Obviously, disqualifying Obama will be the perfect opportunity for lil' Jindal to jump into the presidential race. And once he teams up with those thug volcano friends of his, there won't be another candidate alive to challenge him. [NOLA.com]

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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