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Some updates for our beloved Terrible Ones who are waiting on pins and needles to welcome the Wonkebago carrying their overlord, the UNIMPEACHABLE Donna Rose: Here is the first batch of Wonkette 2017 Beach Bum World Tour stops!

Boise! We will see you Tues., Oct. 17, 6-9 p.m., at Quinn's Lounge and restaurant, 1005 South Vista, Boise.

Eugene, Oregon! CHANGE OF VENUE! Rain's expected, so we will buy you pizzas at WHIRLED PIES 199 W. Eighth Ave., Thurs., Oct. 19, let us call it 5-8 p.m.!

Sacramento! Sat., Oct. 21, 4-9 p.m. at East Portal Park! Your comrade Laura got us an alcohol permit! Let's use it!

And Sonoma, my loves, we are on for Sunday, Oct. 22, pot luck, 3 to 6 p.m., at the town plaza. In case of rain, we'll meet up at Mary's Pizza, which is just right there. I will bring you IMPEACH hats and kisses.

The Wonkebago will be in Avila Beach, Oct. 23, 5 to 7, at the Woodyard pullout, OUR FAVORITE YAY!

Santa Barbara, Oct. 24, 5-7 p.m. at Leadbetter Beach.

Oct. 26, Orange County, at Moreno's in Orange, from 7 to 9!

Los Angeles, we have decided you will find parking, Oct. 27, at the Red Lion Tavern in Silverlake, where an old man once offered me so much cocaine! Call it 7 to 9 as well, though we bet you could find us there early, NOT DOING COCAINE.

San Diego, Chicano Park, you're up Monday, Oct. 30, potluck from 5 to 8!

And Big Bear area (actually Sugarloaf), you're up at 5-8 p.m., Nov. 1, this address self-destructed!

Salt Lake City, coming to ya Thurs., Nov. 9! Salt Lake Pizza and Pasta aka Fiddler’s Elbow, 6 p.m. to ???!

Pocatello, we will be in you Fri., Nov. 10! Portneuf Valley Brewing, 615 S 1st Ave, 6-8 p.m.

Helena, Montana, how's Sat., Nov. 11 sound to all y'all? It sounds mighty fine to us! Lucky bastards, getting a Saturday night. Let's meet up at the Windbag Saloon, say at 5 p.m.!

MONEY PLEASE.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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