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Bombs And Bomber Jackets

News
  • President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan, where he checked to see if President Karzai had really cleaned his room or just shoved all his junk under his bed. Then Obama put on a leather jacket and wowed scores of troops with his winning Sarah Palin impersonation. [Washington Post]
  • The Moscow Metro has been bombed again, presumably by the Chechen Black Widows who go around bombing Russian things. [BBC News]
  • In other "sad things following explosions" news, a sunken South Korean naval ship appears to have no survivors onboard. [AP]
  • Delicious foods are basically just legalized crack and heroin, in terms of what they do to your brain. [CNN]
  • Insurance companies may still not have to cover little children with terrible health problems, because ... it would just be so ruinous to their image if they demonstrated any fucking humanity whatsoever? [New York Times]
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Did you know the Russia investigation is still a thing? America sort of took a break from it (Robert Mueller didn't), so we could focus on being horrified that Donald Trump has been ripping babies out of mommies' arms with such glee you'd think the babies were Big Macs. But here are a couple stories you might have missed in the past couple of days, and they both involve Devin Nunes obstructing justice, because that's the only thing he's good at. (OK, fine, we may have heard a rumor that he is also good at fucking cows, but that is just a rumor, so you guys need to stop being such Gossiping Gwendolyns!)

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This weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was politely asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia. Before that, Department of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen -- fresh off of denying then excusing putting Mexican children in cages -- was shamed out of a Mexican restaurant. And Pam Bondi, the Florida AG, got her ass booed out of a screening of the Mr. Rogers documentary by a good citizen. Watch it, it was great!

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