Book Two: The US Army Declares War With The Liz Cheney Monster

Book Two: The US Army Declares War With The Liz Cheney Monster

Twas onlyMonday when we even first met the Liz Monster, Dick Cheney's spawn-object, and her feared Internet chimera Well, now it is Wednesday and the Liz Monster must defend herself against a formidable enemy force composed of actual former generals in the US Army who will fight the Liz Monster until she glissades back into the mountains of Hell and stops frightening Earth's creatures. Really.

It turns out it bothers the Army when civilians (even zombie ones!!) go around publicly lying about military procedures.

About a dozen retired generals and admirals, trying to add momentum to President Barack Obama's effort to close the Guantanamo Bay military prison, are accusing former Vice President Dick Cheney and his daughter Liz of scaremongering about the dangers of closing it.

“It’s up to all of us to say these arguments advanced by Cheney and his acolytes are nonsense and that really what they’re doing is undermining our national security by delaying the date at which Guantanamo is closed,” retired Brig. Gen. James Cullen. [...]

“Some of the fear issues that are being raised in this are really unfortunate. It gets people excited about things they shouldn’t be excited about and impedes doing what is critical to this country. Get that damn symbol off the table,” said retired Gen. David Maddox, a former Army commander-in-chief for Europe. “We take a setback every time somebody, whether it’s the vice president or his daughter comes out and says the things that they say….We have to get out there again and just keep pounding.”

Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge, for tomorrow we shall open Book Three: THE BATTLE OF MIDDLEBROW, in which the Liz Monster hypnotizes the Internet people, whom she makes sign up for in blood.



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