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Jim Benvie on Facebook

Border vigilante Jim Benvie, the spokesman for that mob of gun-humpers in New Mexico that proudly livestreamed itself detaining a group of migrants crossing the border in April, really likes to portray himself as a proud upholder of The Law. Armed men holding immigrants at gunpoint are actually just exercising their constitutional rights, he explained, because those illegals broke the law, you see. "They're breaking the law. They went across the border, they've broken the law."

As the Daily Beast points out, Benvie even likes to suggest he's somehow affiliated with law enforcement.

He wears a badge with the words "Fugitive Recovery Agent." He refers to Border Patrol agents as his "backup." He claims to be protecting America from a "criminal invasion" at the nation's southwestern border.

So of course it shouldn't surprise anyone that, as the Daily Beast reports, this great supporter of law and order is facing charges for stealing a rental truck in Oklahoma, and that the arresting officer suspected Benvie of fraudulently collecting money for a boy with cancer whose name Benvie couldn't quite come up with, although no charges have been filed regarding the apparent scam.


After Benvie livestreamed the detention of the migrants, the group's leader, Larry Hopkins, was arrested by the FBI for being a felon illegally in possession of a firearm, which just proves the Deep State is out to get patriots. The group he founded, "United Constitutional Patriots," has split up, with Benvie forming a new outfit called "Guardian Patriots." Some remnant of the original group is still active on Facebook under the old name, and the new group's Facebook page is members only. No telling how long it takes for slob militias to get new stationery, especially given some of the unique challenges they face from tyrants, traitors, and their own selves:

The group has faced other difficulties too. Local officials evicted the Guardians militia (stop calling it that! They're no longer carrying AR-15s!) from the camp they had set up, which was on Union Pacific Railroad property, but they've found a new spot. And they've also been banned from PayPal and GoFundMe, so they've had to settle for making online appeals for checks, by mail, just like Thomas Jefferson and the original Patriots.

And then of course there's the vehicle theft and the grifting. The stolen rental truck charges had been mentioned, without much detail, in a May 11 teevee station report, but the Daily Beast's Nick Martin found court documents that lay out the full bore stupid of great Law Defender Jim Benvies.

According to an affidavit by the arresting officer, Lt. Mark Bruning, police in Guthrie, Oklahoma, had been notified by OnStar, the car security/satellite outfit, that a stolen Penske rental truck had been located "in the parking lot of the chain chicken joint Golden Chick." (Clearly named after the deceased spy lady in Goldfinger.) Inside the Golden Chick (stop that snickering, you), Bruning found Benvie at a table with a blue bucket on it, raising money to help a poor li'l boy with cancer. Or at least insisting he was:

"When Benvie observed me he began to look away and became very nervous," Lt. Mark Bruning wrote in the affidavit. "I contacted him and asked how long he had been at the store attempting to raise money. He stated a couple hours."

When the lieutenant asked what vehicle he was driving, Benvie pointed to the yellow truck. He told the lieutenant he had rented the truck from a Penske location in Tennessee on an "open ended 'cash' account," according to the document.

Surprise, surprise: The truck's paperwork showed the truck had been rented as a one-day rental, with a clear return date, and the Penske office told police ain't no such thing as an "open ended cash account," you get out of here with that stuff.

Lt. Bruning asked Benvie to explain the charitable cause he was collecting cash money for, and Benvie insisted it was for a friend in Tennessee whose little boy has brain cancer, the poor tyke, how tragic. If the boy or the friend exist at all: The affidavit noted that "Benvie was unable to produce a name" for that friend. Why, yes, OF COURSE there's more:

Inside the truck, police found a "Make America Great Again" hat along with some garbage and two duffel bags filled with clothing. They also found pamphlets that read "Help Ryan Beat Cancer," which depicted a boy with a scar on his head. Some of the pamphlets were old. Others were new.

"I asked Benvie about the pamphlets," Bruning wrote in the affidavit. "He stated it was real and that he was raising money for the child. But again was unable to give a name."

Well obviously he wants to protect the lad and his family from George Soros, Hillary Clinton, and the international kidnapping ring that would surely kidnap him for their adrenochrome-fueled sex orgies. Benvie isn't a grifter, he's a goddamn hero, and now he's a martyr! Still, Bruning suspected some fuckery was afoot, writing in his affidavit,

"it's believed that Benvie was committing fraud by collecting donations for [a] child with cancer that he was unable to provide any information about."

Benvie was irate after his arrest and blew his top with Bruning, according to the affidavit. While being moved from the Guthrie police station to the county jail, Benvie reportedly told the lieutenant: "I'll bring that mom and sick kid to court if I have to."

Ultimately, however, Benvie was only charged with a felony count of possessing a stolen vehicle, to which he pleaded not guilty; he told the Intercept the arrest was all just a big misunderstanding from "a clerical mistake" at the Penske rental office -- which is the sort of thing that seems unlikely to result in actual felony charges, huh? That story also notes that Mr. Law & Order has another little tiny fraudish scheme in his past:

In 2012, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported that Benvie was involved in coin-selling schemes that involved stealing and selling customer lists to unscrupulous telemarketers. (Benvie acknowledged to The Intercept that he was "absolutely" involved).

In conclusion, the yokels still think he's wonderful, and Benvie is proudly defiant, telling El Paso station KDBC he'll continue his fight to enforce the LAW:

Benvie said even if he's convicted, his work at the border will continue.

"More Americans will follow," Benvie said. "You're not gonna get rid of me. I'm America."

Well, shit, you can't really argue that one. Benvie is still livestreaming exciting video of immigrant detentions, including one just last night in which he informed us that all asylum claims are bogus, because just look at the nice shoes these particular border crossers are wearing. People who fear death and violence in their home countries don't have nice clothes, that is just logic. Now, won't you help this poor little stock photo of a boy who has cancer?

[Daily Beast / KDBC / El Paso Times / Intercept]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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