BP Polluters To Pollute Prison, Possibly

  • Obviously -- obviously -- every single effort BP makes to try to stop the entire contents of the earth from barfing up into the Gulf of Mexico will fail, and miserably. This is making the Obama administration look bad, as they are supposed to be "in charge" but it's not really their fault (except in the total-failure-of-regulation and lapses-in-containment senses) and they can't just brush aside BP and do things themselves because, uh, capitalism? Anyway, eventually once you piss off the Obama administration, they set their "heavy," Eric Holder, onto you, and then YOUR SHIT GETS FUCKED UP. That's right, it's time for a strongly worded press conference in which the possibility of "malfeasance" charges are floated! All sorts of terrible lobsterback monsters are going to prison (or will have to pay modest fines, whatever). [WP]

  • Hawaiian Democrat Ed Case, who has screwed up multiple elections for the Democrats, has finally announced that he has stopped doing so, after shaming Hawaii by handing Barack Obama's personal House seat to some Republican. [KITV]
  • It's primary day in Alabama, aka America's Greatest Producer Of Hilarious Campaign Ads! In addition to comical wingnuts on YouTube, the election has also featured Artur Davis, an African-American congressman, running for the Democratic nomination for governor without buddying up to various civil rights organizations. We'll see how that goes! (And don't worry, Alabama is one of those states where primaries in which nobody gets 50 percent of the vote go to a runoff, so there will be weeks of hilarious campaign ads to come.) [NYT]
  • AIG, having not screwed the American taxpayer in literally months, is balking at a sale of one of its Hong Kong divisions that could pay back some of the government aid it received. This is because AIG has suddenly decided that it is an institution that is in some way valuable, rather than a criminal syndicate that should have all of its property seized and sold at auction while its employees beaten with sticks. [NYT]

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