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JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

A rich man was dying and invited his doctor, priest and lawyer to his hospital bed. There was large pile of money on the table. "I'm taking it with me", he explained. "At the funeral I want you each to throw in one-third of my money." They agreed.

He died soon thereafter and at the funeral each of the three men put an envelope in the casket.

A month later the doctor, priest and lawyer were playing golf.

"I have a confession to make", said the priest. "I gave the money to the orphanage and put an empty envelope in the coffin."

"Well, I also have a confession," said the doctor. "I gave the money to the children's ward at the hospital and put an empty envelope in the coffin."

The both turned to the lawyer.

"I kept my word" he said. "I put in a check for the full amount."

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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

A lawyer buys a new BMW and drives it over to his firm to show off. He parks out front, and, as he's getting out, an old truck held together with bailing twine and duct tape comes along and takes the driver's door completely off. A police officer comes along and finds the man standing in the middle of the street screaming at the disappearing truck.

"What's the problem?" the cop asks.

"Look what that idiot did to my car? Less than an hour out of the dealership. No matter how hard they try to fix it, the car will never be the same."

"I can't believe you lawyers," the cop says. "Always so worried about material possessions. You're so worked up about your car, you didn't even notice that, when that truck took off the door, it took your left arm with it."

The lawyer looks down at his empty left sleeve and yells, "My Rolex!"

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