Breaking: 17% of Newspaper Columnists Clearly Virgins
Cold, loveless, formulaic punditry:
When asked "what writing a column is like," 26% of salaried columnists called it a job and 17% likened it to sex. But Robertson explained that this wasn't necessarily a positive thing; he said some columnists feel like they're "married to a nymphomaniac" because they have to start working on another column as soon as they're finished with the previous one.
Yeah, writing a column is just like sex. In that you do it in front of a computer, alone, while convincing yourself that people like you.