BREAKING! Clarence Thomas Is Gross Sex Perv Again, Allegedly
We have breaking groping news, and it is not about Donald Trump this time! It seems that Clarence Thomas, the silent and creepy Supreme Court justice who -- allegedly, of course -- sexually harassed Anita Hill in the most disgusting way, may-haps mighta groped another lady. Can you believe it? Remember when that Lillian McEwen lady came forward to say that yeah, she used to date Thomas and yup, he was gross, and you betcha, he couldn't stop talking about porn with all the ladies? She wrote a book that said Clarence Thomas's boner is bangin', and that his body is "coffee bean ... velvet-covered cement."
Well anyway, McEwen is not the person coming forward, this day in 2016, to say Justice Thomas groped her against her will. We just wanted to remind you how gross he is, in case you were playing hooky from reading Wonkette in 2010. The new accusations come from a lawyer named Moira Smith, who says Thomas groped her in 1999, when she was in her early 20s:
A 41-year-old lawyer has accused Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of groping her in 1999 when she was a young foundation fellow in Washington, D.C., National Law Journal reported Thursday.
The lawyer, Moira Smith, said that Thomas repeatedly touched her rear multiple times as he pleaded for her to sit next to him at a dinner party hosted by the head of her scholarship program. The alleged incident occurred, Smith said, when just the two of them were alone near the table she was setting for the party.
Four people who knew Smith at the time confirmed to National Law Journal that they recalled her recounting the incident to them soon after it happened.
Thomas denied the claim.
Of course he did. "I did not never grope that woman" seems to be a really popular statement these days, from pervy old conservative dudes. But Smith's account is fairly detailed:
Alone with Thomas, “I was setting the place to his right when he reached out, sort of cupped his hand around my butt and pulled me pretty close to him,” Smith said in an interview. “He said, ‘Where are you sitting?’ and gave me a squeeze. I said, ‘I’m sitting down at the garden table.’ He said, ‘I think you should sit next to me,’ giving me squeezes. I said, ‘Well, Mr. Blair is pretty particular about his seating chart.’ I tried to use the seating chart as a pretext for refusing. He one more time squeezed my butt and he said, ‘Are you sure?’ I said yes, and that was the end of it.”
That sounds a lot like Clarence Thomas. Good thing there weren't any Coke cans covered with pubes at that table, because obviously.
Smith says she's speaking out now because of all the allegations against Trump and his pussy-grabbing tape:
"Sure enough, Justice Thomas did it with I think an implicit pact of silence that I would be so flattered and star-struck and surprised that I wouldn’t say anything. I played the chump. I didn’t say anything,” Smith said.
So there you have it. A new groping allegation against Clarence Thomas. Guess his wife will have to wait a couple decades and then leave this lawyer Moira Smith a disturbing early morning voicemail demanding she apologize for so rudely smearing her angelic husband with these filthy accusations. Because Ginni Thomas did that.
By the way, we completely lied at the top of this post when we said we didn't have any breaking groping news about Donald Trump. His 12th accuser came forward Thursday, and she is Miss Finland 2006!
So that happened too.