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BREAKING: JUDY MILLER VISITED BY JOHN BOLTON?!?!

UPDATE: We called the wrong jail. Ooooh boy. Totally need to leave this reporting to the experts. We'll try again tomorrow.


UPDATE 2: Wouldn't it be funny if this was the same kind of mistake Judy herself made? You know: "Ooops, I meant the WMDs were in IRAN...." Anyway, we're already drunk.

UPDATE 3: Not even in the top ten mistakes Wonkette has ever made.

Arianna Huffington has one of those "delicious, if true" scoops that seem so common in the blogosphere: She, uhm, "reports" that John Bolton "recently took time out of his busy schedule to pay a jailhouse visit to Judy." WOW, huh? SUSPICIOUS! Arianna imagines:

Maybe they swapped notes on Pat Fitzgerald (Judy: “He really got mad when I wouldn’t tell him what he wanted...” Bolton: “...and they say I’ve got a temper!”(laughter all around))
Well, this is such an awesome image we had to do one those, oh what's it called, reporting things and call the jail ((703)228-7287).

The nice officer on the phone wouldn't give his name, but he said he had the visitor log in front of him and could tell me if the person I was looking for had signed in. Here's what happened:

WONKETTE: I'm looking for JOHN BOLTON.

[clickety clack sounds]

OFFICER: Nope.

WONKETTE: Thanks.

OFFICER: You're welcome.

Gosh, that was fun. Go ahead, try it yourself!

You know what this means, don't you: NOT EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOUT JUDY MILLER ON THE BLOGS IS NECESSARILY TRUE. Fuck. Also it means there is someone on the earth even lazier than we are. So there, mom.

The Judy File: Miller’s UN-likely Visitor [HuffPo]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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