UPDATE: We called the wrong jail. Ooooh boy. Totally need to leave this reporting to the experts. We'll try again tomorrow.

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UPDATE 2: Wouldn't it be funny if this was the same kind of mistake Judy herself made? You know: "Ooops, I meant the WMDs were in IRAN...." Anyway, we're already drunk.

UPDATE 3: Not even in the top ten mistakes Wonkette has ever made.

Arianna Huffington has one of those "delicious, if true" scoops that seem so common in the blogosphere: She, uhm, "reports" that John Bolton "recently took time out of his busy schedule to pay a jailhouse visit to Judy." WOW, huh? SUSPICIOUS! Arianna imagines:

Maybe they swapped notes on Pat Fitzgerald (Judy: “He really got mad when I wouldn’t tell him what he wanted...” Bolton: “...and they say I’ve got a temper!”(laughter all around))

Well, this is such an awesome image we had to do one those, oh what's it called, reporting things and call the jail ((703)228-7287).

The nice officer on the phone wouldn't give his name, but he said he had the visitor log in front of him and could tell me if the person I was looking for had signed in. Here's what happened:

WONKETTE: I'm looking for JOHN BOLTON.

[clickety clack sounds]

OFFICER: Nope.

WONKETTE: Thanks.

OFFICER: You're welcome.

Gosh, that was fun. Go ahead, try it yourself!

You know what this means, don't you: NOT EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOUT JUDY MILLER ON THE BLOGS IS NECESSARILY TRUE. Fuck. Also it means there is someone on the earth even lazier than we are. So there, mom.

The Judy File: Miller’s UN-likely Visitor [HuffPo]