BREAKING: McCain a "P.O.W." In Secret "Vietnam" War
The John McCain campaign has been sending some very forward e-mails to its supporters recently in a shameless attempt to build equity. Poor guy has to eat Ramen and charcoal until the AmEx bills are paid off, so we're glad to pass the tin change can around. Still, McCain Campaign Manager Rick Davis realizes that leading e-mails with "The time to donate is NOW!" might be off-putting to the 14 chimpanzees/members of ABBA that still support him. As a result, Davis sent a new e-mail yesterday commemorating October 26, 2007 as the 40th anniversary of the day McCain was shot down in Vietnam. It's a delightful history tale, and how kind of him to educate us -- who knew this McCain dude had such a rough life? And why did those meanie pants bum-faced Vietcong treat him like that? It's as if Davis is trying to guilt-trip us pussies into donating....
Look at some of the devastating new info Davis passes along -- I mean shit you will NEVER see on Wikipedia:
The Vietnamese soon realized that they were holding the son of the US Commander of the Pacific Fleet - they called him "The Prince". They offered him an early release, but McCain knew accepting an offer would violate the military code of conduct through which he pledged, "I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy." He repeatedly refused early release.
STFU. I mean STFU! That's really nice of Davis, writing this nice long e-mail solely to celebrate John McCain's service to his country. Usually in these campaign e-mails, these consultant types are always asking for money, "donations." But here, I'm starting the eighth paragraph and there's been no mention of any kind of fundra--
Oh... oh fuck you, Rick Davis:
It is essential that every man and woman who wants to see John McCain elected president give and give again to make sure he has every financial resource necessary to elect him.
I've given plenty to my country, thank you, by not giving the McCain campaign $2,300.