When Tim Pawlenty was a child, a bunch of mouth breathers forced him to will their obsolete manufacturing jobs back into existence. "Hey kid, those gay foreigner founding fathers may have created this country," said the laborers, spitting tobacco in young T-Paw's face. "But if you want Americans to embrace it, you're going to have to splice a sweet flyover in here." And that's just what he did. CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT?

Pawlenty totally lied. You don't need to "like" him to see this amazing video.

"These are great, almost human facial expressions, Trevor, but can you find a photo of Tim in a nondescript hockey jersey? I think we only have 61 of those on the site at the moment." "I'll see what I can do. God, this guy is really boring." [Tim Pawlenty]

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