BREAKING UPDATE ... SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE CONTAINS TEDDY BEAR (OR ELMO)
The terror package thrown at the White House this morning actually contained a dangerous or possibly tasteless Teddy Bear. Wonkette operative "Billy" talked to an "in the know" workman at the Old Executive Office Building and got the secret info:
Around 10: 30 this morning I talked to a construction worker at the OEOB, who told me the tossed "package" was -- no kidding -- a teddy bear.
The terror bear is being shipped to Gitmo to join the woman who threw it. NEW BREAKING UPDATE: "Mr. X" provides stunning new eyewitness testimony to the 9/11 of 2006:
I work across the street from the Old Executive Office Building and had a clear view of the suspicious "package" this morning. It consisted of a plastic grocery bag, a stuffed dog, and what was either Elmo or a red Teletubby.