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*BREAKING* WHITEWATER FINALLY OVER, CLINTONS THROWN IN JAIL FOREVER AND EVER, NEW WALLFLOWERS ALBUM SHOOTS TO TOP OF CHARTS

love90s.jpgOur long national nightmare etc. etc. etc.


The seven-year, $70 million Whitewater investigation that toppled an Arkansas governor and dogged Bill Clinton for most of his presidency officially drew to a close Monday when the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear the last remaining appeal.

Ah, we miss those carefree days. Back then, a Senator could introduce three bills to censure the President before lunch and no one would bat an eye! Baseless speculation and conspiratorial rambling about the doings of the White House wasn't confined to "viral videos" on the Huffington Post or obscure blogs, they were on the covers of our finest magazines every week and on the editorial pages of our most prestigious papers! Men were men! Women were women! And scandals didn't have to be about anything, they just had to be.

We're going to go curl up with some vintage '90s New York Times -- we still have our yellowed copy of the "document shredding at the Rose Law Firm" page one in the ol' scrapbook.

Court Rejects Last Whitewater Appeal [ABC]

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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