make it stop

Guys, did you hear about the GIANT Trump rally Wednesday in Jacksonville, Florida, where sister-honking rednecks from sea to shining sea traveled in their Ford Windstars wearing their Make America Great Again hats, and they almost didn't make it to Florida on time, because there was a big sale on expired American cheese and off-brand American flag buttplugs at the Big Lots, and then they all wanted a KFC Double Down, which took FOREVER? But hooray, they made it on time, and Dead Breitbart was ON IT.

Here is a screengrab of the original article, via Media Matters:

Huh! But UH-OH and POOP! That wasn't a picture of a massive rally in Jacksonville at all. You can tell by how it is a picture of Cleveland! IN FACT, here is what it is actually a picture of:

Another way you can tell this is Clevelanders celebrating the Cavaliers, as opposed to Trump supporters celebrating their idiot daddy, is that there are probably minorities in the crowd. And instead of being racist pig turds, they are joyful.

Breitbart has corrected its boo boo by saying that "A photograph that was incorrectly attributed on social media to the rally in Jacksonville has been removed." That is super-funny, because "social media" is things like Twitter and Instasnapchat, whereas the screengrab above is of the actual Breitbart dot com website. But we understand -- this is a website that spends all day, every day, sucking Donald Trump's cock until it chokes, which takes a long time because of how tiny Trump's hands are. They're bound to fuck up simple things like this. Maybe they are saying they saw it on Twitter and didn't bother to check whether it was real. OR MAYBE THEY ARE JUST LIARS.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Not to be outdone in the Dumbass Department, Jim Hoft AKA the stupidest man on the internet AKA The Gateway Pundit AKA also the stupidest homosexual on the internet, decided to report on a DIFFFERENT Trump rally, where MILLIONS MORE Trump supporters headed to Portland, Maine, on their Hoverounds, and almost didn't make it on time, due to how they all got phone calls that said their meth labs exploded and their cousins were divorcing them, and also they had to stop and eat all the Big Macs. But they made it to Portland, and holy shit, Jim Hoft reports, would you look at this line!

Such people, many Trump supporters! But whoops, they're all Cavs fans in Cleveland again, as noted by Simon Maloy on the Twatterbox:

Look, you dumb dumpsterfuck wingnuts, Cleveland is a place in Ohio, which means by definition it is not a Trump rally in Maine OR Florida. You were all in Cleveland just a couple weeks ago for the RNC, so maybe you should recognize it?

As of this writing, Jim Hoft has not issued a correction, because he is a craven, lying asshole who never admits he is wrong. He simply removed the picture and added a note at the bottom that "this post has been updated." UPDATED HOW, YOU COCK-GOBBLING QUISLING? Jim Hoft will never tell.

Watch Dead Breitbart and Dipshit Magoo's website the rest of the day, as they might post the secret Iranian money exchange video Trump claims he saw, but that does not actually exist.

SPOILER: It will actually be a scene from Disney's Aladdin.

[Media Matters / Dead Breitbart / Casa de Dumbfuck]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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