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Well shit, everyone, CANCEL THE LIBERAL PITCHFORK BRIGADE, because Breitbart has boots on the ground in 'Bama, and its intrepid reporters have uncovered #scoops that prove once and for all that Leigh Corfman, who told the Washington Post her story of being molested as a 14-year-old child by Roy Moore, made it all up. Now, pay no attention to your moral outrage at Breitbart sending reporters to Alabama to harass and discredit a woman because they're more concerned about their agenda than they are about child sex abuse victims, because your moral compass is obviously stuck in the pre-Trump era, when things like that mattered.

Of course, Breitbart had already uncovered one big #scoop, and it was that one of Moore's other accusers, who said he tried to perv-date her when she was 16, wasn't planning on voting for him, which obviously renders her account invalid. But these new #scoops are even bigger!

EXHIBIT A: LEIGH CORFMAN DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PHONE IN HER ROOM!

This one is really big, y'all. Corfman clearly told the Washington Post she talked to Roy Moore on the phone in her bedroom before he picked her up so he could allegedly molest her. But Breitbart was like "UM OK SURE" and talked to her mom and uncovered this:

[Nancy] Wells, Corfman’s mother, was asked by Breitbart News: “Back then did she have her own phone in her room or something?”

“No,” she replied matter-of-factly.

STORY OVER! UNTIL YOU READ THE NEXT SENTENCE!

“But the phone in the house could get through to her easily.”

Picture it: 1979! The phone is in the kitchen, but it has a long cord your mom plays with when she's talking to her friends and doing other stuff at the same time, and fuck if that phone has not stretched to every room in the entire house. EVEN AS FAR AS YOUR BEDROOM.

Yes, you just witnessed Breitbart debunking its own #scoop, literally one sentence after the #reveal. Breitbart reporters are very good at journalism, and also at life.

Breitbart also takes issue with how much of Corfman's account relies on Corfman "remembering" what allegedly happened to her. How could a dumb lady saying mean things about Roy Moore possibly remember things? Breitbart calls bullroar!

Ready for more of the fruits of Breitbart's labor?

EXHIBIT 2: THE LIBTURD WASHINGTON POST FORCED CORFMAN TO TELL HER STORY!

“She did not go to them,” said Wells. “They called her.”

“They tried to convince her to do it?” this reporter asked.

“Yes,” replied Wells, matter-of-factly.

Wells was asked about Corfman’s motivations for going public. “It wasn’t done for politics, you know,” Wells replied. “It was done for personal reasons. And it wouldn’t have been done if the reporters hadn’t contacted my daughter.”

That is completely new information! Except for how it's not, if you read the original story in WaPo:

Breitbart goes on to decry the "activist behavior" of the WaPo reporters, a practice otherwise known in the real world as journalism.

Of course, we must note that Breitbart seems to be conceding that Corfman's account is true, since its headline does not say "Washington Post convinced lady to make up child molesty stories about Roy Moore." It says WaPo helped her come forward.

Of course, the more information trickles out, the more it sounds like Roy Moore is exactly the guy Corfman describes. Teresa Jones, a former colleague of Moore's, went on record this weekend to say Moore definitely was known for dating high school girls during that time period (when he was in his 30s), everybody knew it, and everybody thought it was fucking weird. A family friend of Leigh Corfman's named Mary Jo West posted on Facebook that she learned "the Roy Moore story" back in the 1990s, and confirms they wouldn't be doing this for political reasons because "Leigh's parents bleed Republican red as long as I have known them," and also "Leigh says she has voted Republican in the last three elections."

Then there was Moore's interview with Sean Hannity, who tried valiantly to give Moore a chance to deny creeping on teenagers, but accidentally ended up getting Moore to claim he never perved on kids without first getting permission from their moms, to the best of his recollection.

Anyway, Moore says he's going to sue WaPo, which is sure to have those reporters shaking in their boots. Maybe Breitbart can recommend Moore a lawyer as talented as Breitbart's journalists.

Hey, did you hear one of the most recent polls of the Alabama Senate race has Moore's Democratic opponent Doug Jones UP BY FOUR POINTS? Donate, donate, donate!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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