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Breitbart writer John Carney is very upset. You see, he was all excited for Vogue's 125th anniversary issue, eagerly anticipating the treasures he might find within -- only to discover that one of the four covers of the issue featuring Jennifer Lawrence was a DIRECT ATTACK against him and his fellow conservatives.


What could be so very terrible about this cover, you wonder? What on earth about Jennifer Lawrence, a white lady from Kentucky, riding on a boat by the Statue of Liberty, could possibly be so offensive to John Carney that he needs to start his own fashion magazine? Well, let's take a CLOSER look, shall we!

Ah yes, that's it right there!

Just kidding. I made that one up myself, in case you could not tell. Actually, what Carney is upset about is the inclusion of the Statue of Liberty on the cover, because the Statue of Liberty is offensive to Conservatives. Because of how much she likes immigration, and is a woman.

Carney then explained that it was all CONTEXTUAL because it was released after that time Stephen Miller thought that "The New Colossus" was written after the statue was erected (it was actually written before, in order to raise money to build the statue).

Of course, the thing with the way fashion magazines work is that this cover would have been shot at least three months before. Not knowing this could be a hindrance to Carney when he takes over the fashion industry.

Carney also suggested that perhaps Breitbart should get in on the fashion stuff, because women would be super into that.

Oh yeah, for sure. Can totally see it. Breitbart Fashion: For Women Who Also Think Women Are Stupid.

Later, Carney cited the Left's "reaction" to his tweet as proof that there was, indeed, a conspiracy at Vogue to hurt his feelings and make him feel like they think immigrants are better than him.

After Vogue Communications director Zara Rahim explained to him that they shot the cover in June, because the September issue is pretty important, Carney tried to say that he was just teasing, but also that he was serious because when did they decide to use it as the cover, huh?

It's honestly kind of fascinating, though, to see the way these people think. Like, they cannot wrap their heads around why black people might be offended by them saying the n-word or might not want them to touch their hair or might not like getting murdered by police on the regular, but OH MY GOD THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS ON THE COVER OF THE ANNIVERSARY ISSUE OF A NEW YORK CITY BASED MAGAZINE OH GOD WHY ARE THEY HURTING US SO?

I am also curious about what this Shadow #MAGA Cultural Industry will entail. Are they going to sing? God, I hope so. I hope they do a Breitbart Cabaret and Fashion Show, because that would be endlessly entertaining.

Also endlessly entertaining? THIS, your OPEN THREAD!

[John Carney Twitter]

Give us some money so we can continue being more fashionable than John Carney, in order to spite him. Click below!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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