Brett Kavanaugh Back To Boofing With Little Girls Or Whatever
What does "boofing" mean? Did we ever figure that out? Can anybody ever possibly know? Doesn't it have a different meaning for everybody?
During his second round of confirmation hearings, Brett Kavanaugh screamed and cried about how much he likes beer and falsely claimed "boofing" (referenced in his high school yearbook) simply meant "pooting." It doesn't mean that, but hey fuck it, if Brett Kavanaugh can pretend the word Urban Dictionary defines as putting drugs or booze (BEERS!) up your butt so they'll get in your bloodstream faster means POOTS, then we can pretend it means coaching preteen girls' basketball.
During those same hearings, during one of his many tantrums, Kavanaugh whined that because all these women were coming forward to say he had sexually assaulted or harassed them during his younger years, he might not ever be trusted to be alone with little girls on a basketball court ever again, which is very sad for him, because that is his favorite. Well good news for Brett Kavanaugh! The Washington Postreports that he's back at it, because apparently a lot of little girls in the DC circles Kavanaugh runs in have parents who don't have a fucking clue.
"I love coaching more than anything I've ever done in my whole life," Kavanaugh said during the Senate hearing in which he angrily denied Christine Blasey Ford's allegation that he assaulted her when they were teenagers in the 1980s.
"But thanks to what some of you on this side of the committee have unleashed," he said, referring to the panel's Democrats, "I may never be able to coach again."
Oh go fuck yourself in your tiny butthole mouth, asshole.
Anyway, he had nothing to worry about:
See how that story is filed in the "local" section? Well, we have an LOL to share with you, and it is that Talking Points Memo reports that the story was originally filed to "Public Safety." LOL!
The story is in "local" now, but as of TPM's publishing, and as of Wonkette's publishing right now, it is still listed as one of the "Public Safety" stories. LOL!
Reached for comment, the Washington Post said "LOL!" and muttered something under its breath about how Brett Kavanaugh is the last man on earth they'd leave their daughters alone with. (#FakeNews, WaPo did not say that; also we did not call them.)
The article says Kavanaugh is back to boofing meals for the homeless on top of boofing girls' basketball.
Look, here he is:
Brett Kavanaugh sighting at my son's basketball tourney at DeMatha HS. #kavanaughsighting https://t.co/2rcVPF7LWV— Bremante Bryant (@Bremante Bryant) 1543193806.0
Well isn't that heartwarming.
If you're curious about other fun things Brett Kavanaugh has gotten to do lately, WaPo's Beth Reinhard has a thread for you. She points out at the end that Christine Blasey Ford still hasn't been able to go back to work. She also closed the GoFundMe to protect her family from death threats, and said in a statement that any money they don't need for that will go to help trauma victims.
But Bart O'Kavanaugh's OK!
Hey, remember that time right after Dr. Blasey's testimony and Kavanaugh's public caterwauling session when it became clear he was still going to be confirmed and we were so furious that we wrote a piece about how Republicans need to realize that no matter what happens, we will always view Kavanaugh, and refer to him, as a credibly accused sexual predator?
Boof on, Bart!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
HI. IT IS THE HOLIDAYS. WE WOULD LIKE TO PAY OUR WRITERS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR US, MAYBE SOME MONEY?
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.