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Bristol Palin Is the Yo-Yo Ma of Acting Or Something

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On July 5th Bristol Palin will make her big-time Hollywood acting debut on America's favorite and valuesiest television network, ABC Family, but everyone is so excited to have this wonderful gift of acting genius that a clip has been released to give us a taste of her sublime performance. In it, we see Bristol confront a fellow teenage mom at music camp with the fact that Bristol KNOWS HER SECRET and wants her to join Bristol Palin's Lonely Hearts Club Band.


WE'RE ALL TEEN MOMS AND MUSICIANS WE'RE ALL TEEN MOMS AND MUSICIANS JOIN BRISTOL PALIN'S BAND HAR HAR FRENCH HORN JOKE HAR HAR BRISTOL PALIN LEAVE NOW BRISTOL PALIN KILL BRISTOL PALIN KILL.

It is so good of Bristol Palin to educate us about teen moms and their need to learn important life skills such as playing the cello, but is it too dangerous to have her act for us? The whole country is going to die of starvation watching this glorious clip over and over. [THR]

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Well, not really a bar, but a conference, and not just any conference, baybee. We're talking BIO, the annual gathering of biotech execs, policy makers, and scientists put on by the Biotechnology Innovation Organization (aka, not just a lobbying group!). Who has two thumbs and attended the gathering a couple of weeks ago? This Mexican.

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It's a new week in America, and as usual everything is going to hell, because that's what happens when you allow 70,000 "economic anxiety" voters in the Rust Belt, Vladimir Putin, and James Comey to decide an election. We will have many stories about Donald Trump's brutal crackdown on Hispanic toddlers today, but in this post, we must revisit that greatest of Americans, Devin Fucking Nunes, congressman from California, possible literal actual Russian agent and (alleged) cow romancer from all the most romantic novels about cow romance. As the French say, ooh la la FUCKING DEVIN.

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