Princess ... Kate? That very pretty woman who married Prince William. She is quite lovely! Her sister has a nice butt! She wears really nice clothes that always seem appropriate! She had very bad morning sickness while she was pregnant! That is literally all we know about her, because we are not goddamned monarchists and we don't bow to no goddamn queen! (You can ask Miss Manners, she is always explaining it. That and how you don't call either Bill Clinton or Jimmy Carter "Mr. President" -- NOT because they are stupid Democrats who don't deserve an honorific, but because there is only one Mr. President, and that is THAT ONE, Mr. Sexxxy Obama.)

My point is, and I do have one, the Daily Mail is a grotesque shitrag and all the news that will fit in their lorry today is about how their nice princess duchess person did not get a pedicure and then she took her shoes off to walk in Gandhi's footprints on a trip and she did not even have toenail polish on and the Daily Mail is the 245th biggest website in the United States and it is NOT EVEN AMERICAN and it is even bigger than Twitchy (which is like the 800th biggest website in the United States) and I am going to kill myself now bye.

Also, Dick Morris already bookmarked this story.

Let us read the thing as long as we can stand it.

She packed 15 outfits carefully chosen to give a nod to her host's culture and local style - but one element of pre-tour preparation that the Duchess of Cambridge neglected was to get a pedicure.

The Duchess, who is on a seven day official visit to India and Bhutan with Prince William, slipped off her shoes during a visit to the Gandhi Smiriti museum this afternoon, revealing her unpolished toes.

And that's it for us! But let us look at some pictures, which we have cropped because we are mostly looking at the captions and we don't want to have to pay Getty or AFP for them anyway. In these captions, one copy editor seems to be whimpering valiantly at the violence inherent in the system.

Good luck in your search for a slightly less soul-murdering job (which would be any job anywhere), copy editor. Wonkette is rooting for you.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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