Bryan Fischer: Founders Wrote Christmas Into Constitution In Invisible Ink Only Bryan Fischer Can See
Bryan J. Fischer, the issues director of the good ol' American Family Association, who has many interesting Thoughts on interesting Topics, has some airtight logic for us, and that is that if the Founders did not want a Christianist theocracy, then why did they put a date on the Constitution, HENGGHHHHH?
Did Bryan J. Fischer just BLOW your MIND????
But it is true, we did look at the Constitution, and right there at the end, it definitely says "in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven," right before all the signers signed it, so will all Jews and Buddhists please report for jail?
Now, maybe you are like "the fuck does putting the date, including 'in the Year of our Lord,' because that is how people did dates back then, have to do with mandatory Christmas indoctrinations for all the little babies?" This is because, presumably, you are not a lunatic. (We apologize for being ableist. Oh wait, no we don't.)
Maybe you are even like, "Look dickless, ALL 'IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD' MEANS IS 'A.D.', and if they'd wanted to they could have included the common 'Jesus Christ' at the end, which they DID NOT, I rest my case!"
In which case, a) you should really not call people dickless, it is not nice, and b) you are correct, Bryan J. Fischer has no dick.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.