Bumbling Slapstick Duo 'Burkman And Wohl' Stage Fake FBI Raid, Get Caught Almost Immediately
Nothing ever seems to work out for right-wing aspiring chaos agents Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman. They appear to spend their lives planning one outrageous lie after another and then getting caught in each lie in a dramatic and humiliating fashion. While the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night and getting sick to our stomachs over a super embarrassing thing we just remembered we said ten years ago (unless that's just me?), they practically never stop tempting fate by going to outrageous lengths to hoodwink the American public when they very clearly are not smart or clever enough to pull that off.
In the early hours of Monday morning, Wohl and Burkman staged a fake FBI raid of Burkman's house, footage of which was shared by the Twitter account of one "Bev Donahue," who had never tweeted anything else prior to this.
Still, the story was picked up by the Washington Post:
Burkman confirmed the raid and said he was not arrested. His associate Jacob Wohl said that the agents took computers, papers and cellphones from the home but that it was unclear what the federal investigators were seeking.
"It's quite strange," Wohl said. He and Burkman said they were not questioned by the FBI.
A spokeswoman for the FBI's Washington Field Office said, "We cannot confirm that at this time."
Wohl and Burkman suggested without evidence that the raid was tied an upcoming news conference they have planned. "We will not be intimidated," Burkman said in an email.
Only a few hours later, one of the actors they hired to play the FBI agents contacted The Daily Beast, stating he had answered a Craigslist ad looking for actors to play FBI agents for a television pilot. Wohl posed as a director named "Jacob Klein," although Burkman used his real identity.
Tommy Abraham told The Daily Beast in an interview on Monday that the Craigslist ad offered $400 cash payments to white male actors who agreed to don FBI badges and windbreakers and film a series of scenes at Burkman's home in Arlington, Virginia. In the pre-dawn hours of Monday morning, Abraham said that he and a handful of others who responded to the ad converged on Burkman's home and were filmed acting out an FBI raid there. Abraham supplied documentary evidence to back up his assertions, including emails from an address bearing the name of a company Wohl once ran.
After the scene was filmed, Wohl and Burkman allegedly refused to pay the actors their $400 cash and instead told them a check would be in the mail. In retrospect, that seems like a poor idea, because it was what led Abraham to look up who Jack Burkman was, and discovered that Klein was in fact Wohl and also that they were pretending that the FBI raid was real.
The purpose of the feigned FBI raid was to make it look as though "the man" was trying to get Wohl and Burkman before they could do one of their little press conferences, this time about former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis.
Wohl told The Daily Beast that they will "press on" and that they are "undeterred," which I guess means they are still planning to hold the press conference anyway. On some level, that is honestly pretty impressive.
For the rest of the day — hell, for the rest of the week — know that almost nothing you can do will be as incredibly humiliating as anything these two have done, and yet they still find a way to persevere. So be kinder to you, because on your worst day, there's almost no way you're as reprehensible as either of them.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse