Bush Thanks Philippine President For Producing Humans That Feed Him

President George W. Bush today played White House host to Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, the most powerful woman in American history. He used the occasion to congratulate Filipinos everywhere for their remarkable contributions to the world. He did this, of course, bysingling out his Filipino cook. 'Cause that dame churns out one helluva steak 'n' baked.

But Tuesday, welcoming Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo to the White House, President Bush couldn't resist getting in a joke about his chef.

First, said Bush, "I want to tell you how proud I am to be the president of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine Americans. They love America and they love their heritage."

Second, he continued, "I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.... And the chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way, Madam President."

[Awkward silence, followed by tit squeeze and hyena laugh.]

Also, George Bush knows everything about everything:

He commended Arroyo for what he called a "carrots and sticks approach" in dealing with rebel groups.

"The sticks of course say 'we're not going to allow for people to terrorize our citizens.' The carrot approach is that there's peace available," Bush said.

Then that damn Mexican or whatever cook of his brought him carrots, and sticks.

Bush jokes about the White House chef [LA Times]

Bush pledges typhoon aid to Philippine president [Reuters]

Donate with CC
Donate with CC
Video screenshot, CBS 4 Miami

The mass murders at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, and at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, are still killing people. Two survivors of Parkland killed themselves in the past week, and this morning, the body of the father of one of the Sandy Hook children was found in Newtown. And something like 35,800 guns will be sold today, if 2019 stats are comparable to 2018 sales figures. But cheer up -- without Barack Obama scaring everyone with his promise to take all the guns, that's down 16 percent from the highest gun sales in history in 2016. Then again, despite the lower gun sales, there were nearly 40,000 deaths caused with firearms in 2018. It was the third record year in a row. We're Number One.

The news has been just horrifying. On March 17, Sydney Aiello, 19, who'd been on campus at Stoneman Douglas the day of the 2018 massacre, killed herself. She'd been a close friend of one of the girls who died in the shooting, and had been diagnosed with PTSD, according to her mother. She had started college but found it hard to just to sit in classrooms because of her fears that a gunman might burst in. Then, this weekend, another Stoneman Douglas student, a male sophomore, as yet unidentified, killed himself -- like Ms. Aiello, with a gun.

Today, police in Newtown found the body of Jeremy Richman, a neuropharmacologist and the father of Avielle Richman, who was only 6 years old when she was one of the 20 children and six adults murdered at Sandy Hook in 2012. Richman and his wife, Jennifer Hensel, had founded a nonprofit to research the neurological problems that might lead to violent behavior. The foundation had an office in the complex where Richman's body was found. The couple were also among the Sandy Hook parents suing Alex Jones for spreading the false conspiracy theory that the Sandy Hook massacre was faked as part of a plot to take all the precious guns away.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc