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But Is Barry Maybe Too Much Of A Pussy?

Historically, Americans have never broken for the adorable upstartSure, he's a charismatic rainbow child whose half-man, half-Muslim, half-unicorn heritage makes him a ringer for Jack Kennedy. But is Senator Barack Obama maybe too much of a pussy to pull off this election thing? Experts disagree!


On the one hand, he's had such a hard life commuting between exotic locales such as Indonesia and Hawaii, being married to a snappy dresser with a six-figure income, and winning his Senate seat in a virtually uncontested race. Despite these hardships, "he's not a person who is easily rattled," says a former law partner.

On the other hand, Obama is "young" and a "newcomer," and there is nothing that Americans hate more than youth.

Obama Must Convince Voters of Toughness [AP/Google]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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