But Is Kip Hawley an Idiot?
Some smart-ass "American citizen" decided to "exercise constitutional rights" or whatever, and there was hell to pay!
The story: A frequent flyer bravely decided to torment TSA screeners by writing "Kip Hawley is an idiot" with a Sharpie on his gallon ziploc bag holding today's allowed hair gel and toothpaste. Even though most of the screeners had no idea who Kip Hawley is -- he runs the TSA -- the shocking words were enough to put the traveler through a training-wheels version of the police state.
Read the whole dumb-yet-sad tale, after the jump.
The passenger in question was flying out of MKE, the Milwaukee hub, and made this crazy plan with another business-travel buddy to harass TSA screeners by marking the ridiculous new "liquid ziplocs" with a message to the chief.
At the checkpoint I placed my laptop in one bin, and my shoes, cell phone and quart bag in a second bin. The TSA guy who was pushing bags and bins into the X-ray machine took a good hard look, and then as the bag when though the X-ray I think he told the X-ray operator to call for a bag check/explosive swab on my roller bag to slow me down. He went strait to the TSA Supervisor on duty and boy did he come marching over to the checkpoint with fire in his eyes!This is pathetic in many ways, but it also serves as a lesson to the bigshot white business traveler who thinks he has rights or whatever.
He grabbed the baggie as it came out of the X-ray and asked if it was mine. After responding yes, he pointed at my comment and demanded to know "What is this supposed to mean?"
"It could me a lot of things, it happens to be an opinion on mine."
"You can't write things like this," he said.
"You mean my First Amendment right to freedom of speech doesn't apply here?"
"Out there [pointing pass the id checkers] not while in here [pointing down]" was his response.
At this point I chuckled, just looking at him wondering if he just realized how foolish that comment was, but I think my laugh pushed him over the edge as he got really angry at this point. A Milwaukee County Sheriffs deputy was summoned -- I would have left at this point, but he had my quart bag with my toothpaste and hair gel.
When the deputy got over the TSA supervisor showed him the bag and told him what had happened to that point. After he had finished I started to remind him he had left out his statement that my First Amendment rights didn't apply "here" but was cut off by the deputy who demanding my ID. I asked if I was under arrest, and his response was "Right now you are not under arrest, you are being detained." I produced my passport and he walked off with it and called in my name to see if I had any outstanding warrants, etc. The TSA supervisor picked up the phone about 20 feet away and called someone? At this point two more officers were near by and I struck up a conversation with the female officer who was making sure I kept put. I explained to her who Kip Hawley was, why I though he was an idiot, and my surprise that the TSA Supervisor felt my First Amendment rights didn't' apply at the TSA checkpoint. She didn't say much.
Insulting the TSA chief on a ziploc is the White Person's version of Driving While Black. Get used to it, suckers. And you won't be so smug once the goons start putting a slug in your skull, will you?
I was detained at the TSA checkpoint for about 25 minutes today [Flyer Talk]
New Airplane Do's and Don'ts [BET]
Air passenger detained for writing "Kip Hawley is an idiot" [Bring It On]