Great day in the morning! It actually happened!

Well, it's about to happen. The networks haven't called the race for Ossoff yet, and Kelly Loeffler is still whining into her extensions that she has a path to victory. But for all intents and purposes, the fat lady is already singing. On January 20, when Kamala Harris is sworn in as Vice President and President of the Senate, Democrats will hold the majority in both houses of Congress. We will take the gavel back from Mitch McConnell, the second most destructive figure in modern American politics. And the first is headed off to spend the rest of his miserable life tweeting on a golf course.

Who says dreams don't come true?


No more 35-year-old hacks appointed to lifetime judgeships. No more progressive legislation passing the House only to die in Mitch's graveyard. No more using the Senate as a tool to harass the incoming Biden administration. Ron Johnson, the Senate's dumbest Republican, will no longer control the Homeland Security Committee — so no more laundering Russian intel on the floor of the Senate. Instead we'll have Gary Peters overseeing an effort to undo the incalculable damage Chad Wolf et al. have done at DHS. You want an investigation into the family separation policy to ensure those poor migrant kids find their way back to their parents? It's about bloody time!

Dick Durbin will chair Judiciary, instead of Lindsey Graham. Sherrod Brown takes over the Banking Committee from Mike Crapo. Bernie Sanders replaces Mike Enzi as head of Banking. Mark Warner will lead at Intel, with Patti Murray at Health, Education, Labor and Pensions, Patrick Leahy at Appropriations, Maria Cantwell at Commerce, Bob Menendez at Foreign Affairs, and Ron Wyden at Finance. These things matter.

We're not going to be prisoner to a Republican Party that ballooned the deficit, gave away trillions to their wealthy backers, and then cried crocodile tears about "moral hazard" when it came to bailing out unemployed Americans during a global pandemic. No more nihilistic attempts to blow up the economy to spite Joe Biden. Well, they can try it, of course. But without Mitch McConnell blocking legislation from coming to the floor, they'll be shit outta luck. Republicans will actually have to take those votes and get the blame for filibustering laws to help Americans. And if that builds support to nuke the filibuster rule, so be it.

In December, that treasonweasel Josh Hawley promised a "hard vetting" for all of Biden's Cabinet nominees. "I will just say to Republicans: Good luck explaining to your voters if you fast-track nominees for somebody who isn't even President yet," Hawley told CNN a full six weeks after the election. In a functional Senate, members spend the transition preparing to confirm Cabinet nominees so that the incoming administration will be able to run the government starting January 20. But Mitch McConnell doesn't really do "functional."

This is the guy who greeted Obama's landslide victory with a promise to make him a one-term president. This is the guy who held Scalia's SCOTUS seat open for a year in defiance of all precedent and principle. The same guy who blew up the filibuster for justices, then jammed through Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett. The same guy who ignored the House's COVID relief bill for six months, then blamed Nancy Pelosi for bringing nothing to the table. The same guy who threatened Barack Obama that he would turn it into a partisan issue if the president publicized Russian efforts to ratfuck the 2016 election, and has systematically blocked efforts to protect our voting system ever since. The same guy who could probably have held on to the majority if he agreed to bring the $2,000 relief package to the floor. But he didn't do it, and now he's headed into the minority where he can supervise the coming GOP civil war.

A war he bears tremendous responsibility for, since he allowed this monster in the tent in his endless quest for power, then did exactly nothing to stand up to him until he'd already lost his bid for re-election. Your circus, your monkey, Mitch! Unlike the Senate, which will be Chuck Schumer's circus.

HOSANNA.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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