Campaign In Chaos, As Trump Sits Home Crying In His Cheeseburger

There are so many stories lately about SAD LOSER TRUMP moping around the White House and whining to his friends because he finally realized Joe Biden is about to kick his sad, orange, loser ass in November. And we are here for all of them!

Vanity Fair, tell us how Chief of Staff Mark Meadows is boohooing to Mick Mulvaney about Jared Kushner being the shadow dictator of the White House and the campaign, on top of his jobs as Chief Middle East Envoy, Coronavirus Czar, Drug Kingpin, and Number One Tech Bro.

Kushner's vast sway over West Wing decisions has become a flashpoint between him and Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, sources say. The two have been engaged in a cold war over control of the campaign. Meadows pushed Trump to replace campaign manager Brad Parscale, a Kushner ally, the Republican close to the White House said. Kushner wasn't happy that Meadows is close with Kushner's adversaries Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie. "Meadows is in real shit. He went to war with Jared and tried to get Brad out," the Republican, briefed on the internal debate, told me. A couple weeks ago, Meadows unloaded about Kushner over dinner with his predecessor, Mick Mulvaney, at Sette Osteria near the White House. "All Mark did was complain how much operational control Jared has and how it leaves very little space for the chief of staff," said a Republican briefed on the conversation. "Mark whined to Mick, 'why didn't you warn me before I accepted the job? There's nothing for me to do.'"

Oh, sad! Mick Mulvaney fell on his sword in the Ukraine impeachment scandal and got banished to Siberia by way of thanks. Well, Northern Ireland, but who's counting. Anyway, we bet he feels just terrible for the guy who stuck that knife in his back. Also, why the hell are American taxpayers funding Meadows's salary if he's spending half his time on the campaign?

VF also says that Joni Ernst is PISSED that she's actually having to fight Theresa Greenfield for her seat, rather than ride to re-election on Donald Trump's coattails. Party of personal responsibility, FTW!

New York Times, tell us how Trump promised GOP megadonor Bernard Marcus, the founder of Home Depot, that he was going to course correct, only to retweet the "White Power" Florida Man the very next day. Tell us how Trump's minions lie to his face and promise him he's polling great in, uh, Maine, that's the ticket. Tell us how Trump's campaign is being run by his family, and everyone knows Stinky Brad is incompetent, but they can't get rid of him because Trump doesn't trust strangers, plus he refuses to listen to advice anyway. Or as Florida Sen. Rick Scott put it, "He is who he is. People know who he is. You think he's going to change?"

A handful of Mr. Trump's allies are more focused on the staff than the candidate. They are agitating for him to overhaul his operation and effectively demote the campaign manager, Brad Parscale; that's a move Mr. Kushner has been encouraging in the wake of the Tulsa debacle, for which he has blamed Mr. Parscale, according to people familiar with his thinking.

But some of the president's closest advisers believe that is unlikely to happen, in part because Mr. Trump is loath to take advice from new strategists anyway.

Mr. Kushner and Mr. Parscale appear increasingly at odds. Mr. Kushner has sent mixed signals about his view of the campaign manager: In a meeting with Republican officials this week, Mr. Kushner repeatedly shushed Mr. Parscale and told him to "shut up," according to multiple people familiar with the events, but at other times he has urged friends of the president to tell Mr. Trump they think Mr. Parscale is doing a good job

Wait, didn't we just read that Kushner and the hairball campaign manager are allies in that very first blockquote? Oh, noes, is there trouble in paradise?

Hahaha, just kidding, LET THEM FIGHT. And let them grift, too. The Times reports that "Kimberly Guilfoyle, the former television personality who's dating Mr. Trump's eldest son, controls an expanding fund-raising division that is paying at least one donor, the socialite Somers Farkas, to help raise money." Gotta make that hay while the sun is still shining!

Politico has a very inside baseball account of staff shakeups at the Trump campaign. Did Kush's pal Jeff DeWit march into the office of campaign COO Michael Glassner and announce that he was taking his job and title on Jared's authority, or was it an amicable transfer of power? Did RNC officials really say that DeWit "didn't understand the basics of campaign spending," or was DeWit rightly "trying to verify that the committee was providing the reelection campaign with an accurate read on how it was spending money"? Dunno, but it sure seems like a well-oiled machine over there at Trump HQ!

Steve Bannon, Karl Rove, Chris Christie, Ed Rollins, and every other Republican strategist in DC is frantically shouting MAYDAY MAYDAY YOU'RE ABOUT TO SLAM INTO THE MOUNTAIN PULL UP, and these clowns are wrestling over who gets to use the cupholders in the cockpit. You love to see it!

Okay, bring us home, Daily Beast. Tell us about President Whiney McLoserpants lolling around the Oval Office, just eating his feelings and moaning about those media meanies.

According to three people who've independently spoken to the president, Trump makes a point of regularly complaining that the media has not given him the kudos he deserves for "leading" what he deems to be a smashing economic recovery. He's argued that if former Vice President Joe Biden were in the White House during the current moment, the media would be fawning over the strong job gains, including the nearly five million jobs that the Labor Department reported on Thursday had been added over the last month ending in mid-June.

Trump's gone so far as to suggest that Democrats would want to build "statues" honoring Biden, one of the sources said.

Awww, have another cheeseburger, Mister President.

And now we're seeing reports that Donald Trump will refuse to attend the inauguration in January if he loses the election. Could this day get any better?

Happy Fourth of July, Wonkers. We'll be in our bunk.

[VF / NYT / Politico / DB]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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