Let's call balls and strikes on whether Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court stays alive, or whether he's going to pull out before he gets himself in an even stickier situation than he's already in!


Shante, you stay.

Monday afternoon, Mitch McConnell took to the Senate floor to rage the rage of a thousand raging turtles, about how unfairly everyone is treating rape and sexual assault victims Brett Kavanaugh, who is entitled, as a white man who went to certain schools, to a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. "Senate Democrats are trying to DESTROY a man's personal and professional life on the basis of decades-old allegations," he roared! Judge Kavanaugh WILL be voted on, "up or down" and "in the near future," he threatened!

ANGRY TURTLE IS ANGRY!

Meanwhile, Senator Orrin Hatch, who appeared to be absolutely exploding out of his crusty Mormon magic underpants with frustration as McConnell spoke, has issued many morally outraged Twitter proclamations about how mean ladies are saying Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted them, without even providing an appropriate quorum of witnesses -- to his credit, he refrained from demanding Polaroids -- and telling reporters that even in this #MeToo era, he has chosen to stay and love Brett.

Lindsey Graham, whose moral compass passed away recently after a long battle with brain cancer, has also been using the line about Kavanaugh's life being just RUINED if he doesn't get to sit on the Court and tell women what to do with their vaginas. God, he's a piece of shit these days.

Republican senators are saying all this despite how they've been giving lip service to the idea that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford deserves to have her voice heard on Thursday. We guess after that they'll send her to her room with clear instructions that she's not to come out unless Aunt Lydia or Commander Kavanaugh calls for her.

Even some GOP members of the House of Representatives are getting in on the hot Kavanaugh train action. Rep. Steve King is pretty sure if a bunch of rape and sexual assault allegations are disqualifying for a nominee, then no man is safe, we guess because Steve King mostly hangs out with rapists. (???) Rep. Ted Yoho jumped in to say Kavanaugh is being smeared like a common Roy Moore, because somehow there are people in the world who still think Roy Moore isn't a child molester. Bless their hearts, for they are holy shit dumb.

You know who realllllllly believes in Brett Kavanaugh? It is Brett Kavanaugh, who has written a letter to Senate Judiciary Committee chair Chuck Grassley, digging his heels in and swearing he won't stop until he plows his way onto the Supreme Court without America's consent:

"These are smears, pure and simple. And they debase our public discourse," Kavanaugh said in a letter to Sens. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), the chairman and ranking member of Judiciary, of the sexual abuse allegations against him. "But they are also a threat to any man or woman who wishes to serve our country. Such grotesque and obvious character assassination - if allowed to succeed - will dissuade competent and good people of all political persuasions from service."

Kavanaugh added: "I will not be intimidated into withdrawing from this process. The coordinated effort to destroy my good name will not drive me out. The vile threats of violence against my family will not drive me out. The last-minute character assassination will not succeed."

Go fuck yourself, Rapey the Clown.

Sashay away.

Donald Trump said on Monday that he's still willing to go "all the way" for Bart O'Kavanaugh, but as we all know, sometimes politicians have a public and a private position on things, and Gabe Sherman reports at Vanity Fair that Trump is privately starting to tell people he never liked that creepy fucker anyway.

[I]n private, Trump is growing increasingly frustrated by being mired in a deteriorating political situation beyond his control. On Monday morning, a Republican briefed on Trump's thinking said the president has been considering pulling Kavanaugh's nomination. [...]

As Kavanaugh's poll numbers plummet, Trump is telling people in private that he was never a fan of Kavanaugh's selection, sources said.

It's not like Trump was the guy who picked him in the first place, even though Mitch McConnell specifically recommended against him. It's always somebody else's fault!

Some of Trump's allies are reportedly telling him to take Kavanaugh back behind the shed and shoot him, because if they double down on Kavanaugh and then he goes down, the GOP could lose the House and the Senate, and then the Democrats will take Trump's presidency back behind the shed and shoot IT!

The stakes are that high," the source said. Another Republican adviser told me: "Trump is very worried now, and is finally waking up that it's the end of his presidency if he loses the Senate."

WHOA IF TRUE! DON'T PULL OUT, BRETT!

These Trump allies know what'll happen if Kavanaugh withdraws, though, and it is that Trump will nominate Amy Coney Barrett (who is both a woman and an absolute fucking lunatic):

"Some in the White House think you can only appoint a woman now," a former administration official told me. An outside adviser added: "Democrats won't be able to pivot fast enough to attack her, since she's a woman."

Pretty sure Feinstein, Klobuchar, Hirono and Harris will be able to attack the shit out of Coney Barrett without being sexist. They might even let the Democratic men on the committee talk, but they also won't be sexist. In other words, Democrats will gladly take that challenge!

More evidence of a growing consensus among Trump Republicans that it's time for Kavanaugh to GTFO:

He's right, it is looking pretty bad for Kavanaugh. Shame if any more accusers come ... Oh hey, wonder what Michael Avenatti is up to right now!

Boy, you better not miss.

OK, fuck this day, time for OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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