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Y'all saw that crazy shit that happened at the White House today when Chuck 'n' Nancy went to visit Trump to talk about averting a government shutdown, and Chuck 'n' Nancy ended up playing foosball with Trump's face while he screamed "WALL!" over and over again? It was so great.

During the meeting, Trump interrupted Pelosi a whole lot, and she responded by not giving a fuck and making fun of him to his face about how all she does is win, while Trump was left to whine about how nobody ever talks about how "he" won the Senate for the GOP. (The Senate election schedule, which heavily favored Republicans in the 2018 midterms, won the Senate for the GOP.)

When Pelosi walked out of the White House, she looked like some kinda badass spy walking away at the perfect moment, right before the building explodes. (We are not saying Nancy Pelosi blowed up the White House! OK fine, she did it WITH VOTES.)

But Pelosi's day of dick-punching Trump right in his orange face was not over!


After she walked away all fuckin' badass-like, she went back to the Capitol, where she put on a fresh dick-punching glove and DID IT AGAIN during a Democratic caucus meeting:

"It's like a manhood thing for him. As if manhood could ever be associated with him. This wall thing," said the California congresswoman.

NANCY PATRICIA D'ALESANDRO PELOSI!

Did you really just dick-punch Trump, by making fun of his weird little Lollipop Guild Yeti Pubes Mario Kart dick? Yep, you sure did!

Well played, Madam!

She also said some other amazing things in the meeting, as reported by Politico:

Trump "must have said the word 'wall' 30 times," the House minority leader said, according to multiple sources in the room.

"I was trying to be the mom," she added, but "it goes to show you: you get into a tinkle contest with a skunk, you get tinkle all over you."

Hahahaha, Nancy Pelosi, you are gross and weird and now we are going to call him President Skunk Tinkler.

The Washington Post notes that Pelosi has made this "manhood" comment about Trump's sad, weak and whiny fucking titty baby obsession with his beloved wall in the past, during an event at Harvard this past October.

Pelosi added in the caucus meeting that she was pretty happy they got President Word Vomit to admit that if the government shuts down, it's his damn fault. That was pretty funny, and it'll be great footage for political ads.

This is why Nancy Pelosi is the once and future speaker of the House of Representatives, and also of YOUR FACE. Or at least one of the many reasons.

OK, you may have an OPEN THREAD.

[Washington Post / Politico]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

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Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

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