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Y'all saw that crazy shit that happened at the White House today when Chuck 'n' Nancy went to visit Trump to talk about averting a government shutdown, and Chuck 'n' Nancy ended up playing foosball with Trump's face while he screamed "WALL!" over and over again? It was so great.

During the meeting, Trump interrupted Pelosi a whole lot, and she responded by not giving a fuck and making fun of him to his face about how all she does is win, while Trump was left to whine about how nobody ever talks about how "he" won the Senate for the GOP. (The Senate election schedule, which heavily favored Republicans in the 2018 midterms, won the Senate for the GOP.)

When Pelosi walked out of the White House, she looked like some kinda badass spy walking away at the perfect moment, right before the building explodes. (We are not saying Nancy Pelosi blowed up the White House! OK fine, she did it WITH VOTES.)

But Pelosi's day of dick-punching Trump right in his orange face was not over!


After she walked away all fuckin' badass-like, she went back to the Capitol, where she put on a fresh dick-punching glove and DID IT AGAIN during a Democratic caucus meeting:

"It's like a manhood thing for him. As if manhood could ever be associated with him. This wall thing," said the California congresswoman.

NANCY PATRICIA D'ALESANDRO PELOSI!

Did you really just dick-punch Trump, by making fun of his weird little Lollipop Guild Yeti Pubes Mario Kart dick? Yep, you sure did!

Well played, Madam!

She also said some other amazing things in the meeting, as reported by Politico:

Trump "must have said the word 'wall' 30 times," the House minority leader said, according to multiple sources in the room.

"I was trying to be the mom," she added, but "it goes to show you: you get into a tinkle contest with a skunk, you get tinkle all over you."

Hahahaha, Nancy Pelosi, you are gross and weird and now we are going to call him President Skunk Tinkler.

The Washington Post notes that Pelosi has made this "manhood" comment about Trump's sad, weak and whiny fucking titty baby obsession with his beloved wall in the past, during an event at Harvard this past October.

Pelosi added in the caucus meeting that she was pretty happy they got President Word Vomit to admit that if the government shuts down, it's his damn fault. That was pretty funny, and it'll be great footage for political ads.

This is why Nancy Pelosi is the once and future speaker of the House of Representatives, and also of YOUR FACE. Or at least one of the many reasons.

OK, you may have an OPEN THREAD.

[Washington Post / Politico]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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CLEAR YOUR CALENDARS FOR FEBRUARY 7! And then fill them back up with whatever the fuck you want, because Michael Cohen has announced through his lawyers that he is too scared to testify before an open session of Congress that day, citing threats to his family from Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani.

Wonkette has no reason to believe Cohen isn't being serious here, and NBC News reports Cohen's wife and father-in-law are particularly concerned about their safety if the man who used to call his boss MIS-TURRRR TWUMP goes to Congress and tells the truth this time. Still, we must pause to note that this is the same guy who said this to NPR reporter Tim Mak, back when Mak was at The Daily Beast:

"I will make sure that you and I meet one day while we're in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still don't have," Cohen told Mak [...] "And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know."

"So I'm warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I'm going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"

It's not so fun when the shoe is on the other foot, IS IT, MICHAEL?

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Did Nancy Pelosi do something to give Donald Trump the mistaken impression he has leverage here? We don't remember her doing anything like that!

Trump sent Pelosi a letter this morning to say that, despite how she told him to stay the fuck out of her House because of his government shutdown, he would still be coming to the House on January 29 to deliver his State of the Union address. And for some weird-ass reason, Trump and his advisers in the White House actually thought she would back down. It's both hilarious and alarming that Trump and his people are that stupid, isn't it?

Anyway, Pelosi took the dare. She took the dare. Was there anybody besides those dumb fucking idiots in the White House who thought she wouldn't take the dare?

Pelosi sent a letter right back to Trump to kindly explain to him that no means "go fuck yourself," and that if he'd like her to stick her foot further up his ass and kick it around a bunch, he's welcome to test her some more:

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