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OK! Hi again! Day three!

This is what we know at the moment:

Nevada: Numbers finally incoming very soon. Biden has just been sitting on a 7,500-vote lead, but that's about to change. That said, Nevada elections guru Jon Ralston is warning on Twitter that we are not sure which counties they will report first, which could have the effect of scaring us about Nevada's changing votes. Clark County -- Vegas -- is what this is all about.

Trump is currently whining because the dumbass former AG of Nevada said there's "no question" Trump would have won Nevada if it hadn't been for mail-in voting. Also probably true if Nevada didn't allow women or non-white citizens to vote. Go fuck yourself, Donald The Loser.

Arizona: Dunno yet. Stay tuned. Shitloads of ballots to count, Trump's numbers have gotten a little better, probably gonna be a photo finish like we said yesterday.

Georgia: Trump's lead is down to 19K votes, with a significant amount of mail-in ballots still out, though there has been confusion over just exactly how many. But if Biden's numbers keep going the way they are, he could pull this out.

Meanwhile, Senator David Perdue has fallen under 50 percent in his race against Jon Ossoff, and if that holds, they will go into a runoff.

Pennsylvania: Trump's lead just keeps going down down down down down, like his hopes. Reportedly the campaign is expressing hope that they could pull this out, but it doesn't look good. Will we get a call today? Dunno. One county, Allegheny, is taking some kind of personal day off from counting, so that's awesome.

The longer it takes, watch for more and more fuckery from the Trump campaign to stop the vote. (This applies to all states.) That said, remember that Rudy Giuliani is Trump's secret weapon, so ...

Yeah.

Let's watch the news!

Remember that if we get enough PA numbers to call it, that's ballgame, we're gonna open a bottle of wine and run in the street and cheer a lot, and then this liveblog is OVER.


11:32: Our new favorite spectator sport is watching people yell at Dave Wasserman. He tweeted GAME CHANGER about some numbers from the Georgia secretary of state:

As best as we can tell, everything that's remaining is from very Democratic areas and that is very good for Biden's chances.

11:45: The Trump campaign is holding a very stupid press conference in Vegas featuring very stupid Ric Grenell about how Nevada is stealing the election from them, which because they project so much, means they are probably trying to steal the election there in ways we don't even understand yet.

Jon Ralston, Nevada expert, is watching it so you don't have to:

Grenell is saying there are "thousands" of illegitimate ballots and lying about fraud, but not actually presenting evidence of fraud. This man was literally the (acting) DNI.

Also Democratic elections lawyer Marc Elias has a message for all those who voted by mail and their ballots might have been rejected:

11:52: More from the BS Trump presser, which Matt Schlapp was also at, lying.

"You are here to take in information," hahahahahahaha, that guy definitely got made fun of a lot as a child, and rejected a lot as an adult.

12:00: Josh Marshall is just wondering if, considering how broke-dick and amateur the Trump team's lawsuits and general election whining are, if they're really just humoring him to make it look like they're definitely fighting for him YOU BETCHA.

12:05: Oh by the way counting in Philly has been halted because Dems have had to go to the PA Supreme Court to respond to Trump campaign whining about election observers. That is a thing that is happening.

Trump's lead in PA is down to 116,000, and continues to go down down down down down, like his dreams. Remember that if we get a PA call today, we all are allowed to drink one million White Claws and fuck off for the rest of day.

12:09: Small group of new votes just came in from Nevada and Biden's lead has gone up to 12,000 votes (it was 7,500) or in other words, he is now a full point ahead of Trump.

12:34: Here is your happy funtimes video of Ric Grenell running away from MSNBC when they ask him to actually provide evidence of all the "fraud" he is queening out about.

12:36: So what Jon Ralston is saying in Nevada is that it seems Washoe County (Reno) is just about done, and the rurals are almost done, and there are shitloads still to come from Clark County. So ... we might get a call on Nevada sometime soon?

12:42: By the way, if you were curious the real reason they are not counting votes in Allegheny County, PA, until tomorrow, it is not because of nefarious reasons, it is because of actual reasons. Click here for a splainer, if interested.

1:08: Trump's lead in GA has now shrunked to 13,000 votes, with over 50,000 left to count. From Dem areas. Mail votes. Biden needs 63 percent of them. Numbers people on Twitter are saying this is very possibly very doable. We might be gettin' Georgia on our mind here very soon!

Also according to Jon Ralston, there was a YOOGE dump from "Storey County," which exists, and it changed the whole race, and you are going to be upset, because it was EIGHT VOTES. Trump got six of them. Pffffft, "Storey County."

Here is how this numbers guru says he thinks it will shake out right now:

1:18: Ralston says Nevada is over, like a common Trump presidency.

1:27: The voting registrar for Clark County, Nevada, Joe Gloria, is speaking to reporters, and says his wife and mother fear for his safety right now. Because Donald Trump is still the president, and his supporters are vile garbage.

1:29: A funny thing is happening, like LOL.

So everybody is now saying Nevada is over. Remember how Fox news and the AP called Arizona, and have not retracted those calls? They thus have Biden at 264 electoral votes, whereas everybody else has Biden at 253.

Which leaves Fox News in the hilarious position of deciding whether to project Nevada and its six electoral votes, which would make ... 270. (Other networks will probably call Nevada pretty soon, but that will put them at a 259 EV count for Biden.)

Hey, remember how mad Trump got when Fox called Arizona, which made it really hard for him to lie and declare victory? Imagine if Fox News was the first to call THE ELECTION for Biden!

1:34: Meanwhile, the Trump campaign appears to be trying to get the Fox News decision desk guy killed or otherwise hurt.

1:37: Outright fascism.

1:46: Just so you know, the PA secretary of state, Kathy Boockvar, just told CNN that they expect their count will be MOSTLY done by the end of the day today.

Also that lady who was in the Trump campaign Vegas press conference, saying they VOTER FRAUDED her and wouldn't let her vote. Nah. Clark County just addressed that. She tried to vote TWICE. In other words, FOUND YR VOTER FRAUD, IT WAS THIS TRUMP ASSHOLE LADY.

Also, a judge in Savannah just told one of the Trump lawsuits -- which was over 50 ballots -- to fuck off, and this happened in Michigan:

BEST LAWYERS.

2:13: Here is video of Ric Grenell refusing to give his name this morning and saying "YOU ARE HERE TO TAKE IN INFORMATION!" like a person who has been rejected a lot in life and relishes the opportunity to pretend he is BIG MAN, it is a very funny video:

And here is Ric Grenell calling himself an elderly woman, by accident, accusing an NBC News reporter of "mansplaining to elderly women" -- you know the Trump voter who tried to vote twice -- when actually the NBC News reporter was just calling bullshit on Little Ric's lies.

2:39: Joe Biden is just saying.

3:02: So if you have been wondering about Fox just refusing to retract its Arizona call -- and the AP too! -- this might provide some insight:

Trump has been SCREAMING at them to retract the call. They haven't. And it sounds like they might have info the other networks don't. Maybe AP has seen it, since it is the gold standard? Who knows, but Fox ain't retracting.

3:22: Have you perhaps been wanting a COVID face mask that says "All Votes Matter ... RIGHT?" Wonkette has those, for the low low price of "dollars."

3:40: There will be no more Nevada results today, which means most likely no Nevada call today (even though it is pretty obviously over), unless some network decides to get froggy about it.

3:42: A message from Jon Ossoff!

3:54: At this point, we should be keeping our eyes on Pennsylvania, considering how fast different folks are going to be counting.

By the way, Trump's margin there is down to just under 107K votes. Down down down down down!

4:08: Last update FOR A BIT.

If we get a call tonight -- and we might -- it's gonna be PA. Trump's lead just went under 100K, and they're counting at a clip. That would be ballgame. Sit tight.

4:47: Here is where Nevada is right now. IT'S OVER. Sure would be nice if somebody would just call the dang thing.

5:03: Hahahahahahahahahaha

Trump's lead in Georgia is down to 9,500 now. Yes, four digits, 9,500.

Just 90K in PA.

Ayup.

5:20: You guys they found another voter frauding.

5:51: Oh no, y'all, this is another IMPEACHMENT! By counting people's VOTES!

And here is the Trump campaign saying the quiet part BULLHORN again.

Gonna be funny when Fox calls the election for Biden.

5:54: Trump is going to speak at 6:30 Eastern. It should be a concession speech. It will probably not be.

By the way, his lead in PA is now under 80,000 votes.

6:28: NBC News has officially called that there WILL be a runoff in the GA Ossoff/Perdue race. Fire up your engines! The Senate ain't dead yet!

6:47: Trump is speaking.

"If you count the legal votes, I very easily win." Says according to the "illegal" votes, they are trying to "steal" it from him.

"I've already decisively won many states ..." and NBC News says FUCK OFF and cuts in. Now they are going to go back to interviewing the secretary of state from Arizona.'

7:01: OK, Chatham County (Savannah) in Georgia just came in and Trump's lead is down to ... less than 4,000.

3,635 to be exact.

Y'all we're about to cross the line. Still more vote to come from Atlanta area.

7:04: Anybody care what else that dumb shitshow fascist is saying? Didn't think so.

For the record, NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC all cut away. Only CNN (and Fox we guess) ran Trump's full remarks.

7:10: Trump's lead in PA down to 64K ... hey that rhymes kinda if you sing it like a song!

7:16: CNN was the only network to run Trump's shit, but Jake Tapper's comments afterward were pretty good.

7:25: Trump's Georgia lead just shrunk to 3,486 after the mail ballots came in ... from an extremely Republican county.

7:26: Look at this stupid motherfucker.

7:37: And this is Rupert Murdoch telling Trump it's time to go play on a farm where he'll be able to run and jump and lick his balls all day.

7:52: RACHEL MADDOW: Harry Reid, are you confident that Biden will win Nevada?

HARRY REID: Yes, because the Harry Reid-Industrial Complex That Scares Old Ladies, the one Ric Grenell was queening out about earlier today, is real, and it is BALLER.

OK he did not say that but it would have been fine if he had.

7:56: Hahahahahaha Hairball got THREATS.

8:35: Steve Kornacki is VERY NICELY making fun of Donald Trump for being too stupid to understand how little courts are actually involved in elections.

Anyway, some stuff came in from Pima County (Tuscon), which is very blue, and it wasn't as good for Biden as you might want. Didn't knock Biden out of the game or anything, but just meant Maricopa County's coming dump is important. But then Apache County, which is also very blue, it came in, and Biden OVERPERFORMED in those late mail/dropoff ballots.

Point is, Trump hasn't caught up yet. No reason yet to think he will.

In other news, Trump's lead is down to 53K in PA.

Also, Al Gross up there in Alaska says YEAH WELL GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA WIN.

Wouldn't it be funny if Alaska all of a sudden just went weird? It would be like if Alaska came home for Thanksgiving and announced it was a lesbian.

9:00: THINGS COMETH.

OK, so Trump's "lead" is down to 50K in PA, and his "lead" in Georgia is down to 2,497 votes. Oh yes.

And Maricopa is doing a dump, EW MARICOPA TURN ON THE FAN.

It is 73,000 more votes, and Trump won them by 14-ish points. According to Numbers Twitter and Steve Kornacki, Trump needs to be winning about 59 percent of these votes to even stay in the game. He got 59 percent of these votes, according to Steve Kornacki, but only 56 percent according to numbers Twitter.

WHO WRONG? WHO WRONG?

9:07: Oh look, we just did the math ourself and Trump won 57.14 percent, 56 percent if you include minor party candidates.

FIRE KORNACKI, WONKETTE IS THE NUMBERS GURU OF MATH.

9:11: Trump "lead" in PA down to 48K and change.

9:23: The last batch that brought Trump's Georgia "lead" to 2400 came from Clayton County, which Biden won like 1,100 votes to 165. The good news is that the next batch is big enough that it could erase Trump's "lead" officially. The bad news is that the next batch isn't dropping until near midnight.

The other bad news (for you) is that if PA wraps up before then WE GON' BE OUTTA HERE AND WE'LL FUCKIN' SEE Y'ALL ON MONDAY.

9:39: With votes from another county in Georgia, Trump is now only "ahead" by 1,902 votes.

And Trump's "lead" in PA is down to 42K.

La la la la la la la FAKE NEWS!

9:55: Cool. Just fascism.

Liz addressed this in her post today, which you should read.

10:05: Have we mentioned lately that Joe Biden is now over four million votes ahead in the vote of the people?

10:10: The Washington Post is out with its own hilarious accounting of Trump losing his shit over the past three days, including the part about how his advisers had to tell him how stupid he was to tweet "STOP THE COUNT!" since right then, if they stopped the count, Biden would have won. It talks about Trump having a temper tantrum when Fox called Arizona and flying into a poop-rage telling people to "get that result changed." They are still mad at Fox, which has not retracted its call after one million opportunities (and neither has the AP) today.

Trump was reportedly "genuinely taken aback" that Biden was winning all of these mail-in ballots, even though he's the one who's been telling his supporters not to vote by mail. Also they told him that was going to happen.

"The president's position is, they are just going to keep finding the ballots until they have enough," said one adviser who spoke to him Wednesday.

Otherwise known as "counting."

Apparently White House people are very embarrassed by the toddler baby's fascist display this evening, so that's neat.

Trump's dead-end-iest hangers-on and family members are V. MAD that Republicans won't even defend Trump, as we have seen today from Donald "Daddy Doesn't Love Me" Trump Jr. and Eric Trump and Brad "Hairball" Parscale today. (See above for Hairball.)

Trump thinks he is going to declare victory tomorrow afternoon (again) "when Arizona flips." And Hogan Gidley -- shut up, that's a real name! -- said that this afternoon on a call:

But privately, several people close to the campaign said the mood began to darken. In one call, Hogan Gidley, a campaign press secretary, promised that Trump would be declared the victor on Friday. "It was kind of laughable," said a person on the call.

Yes, that is pretty LOL.

In other news, Trump's "lead" in Georgia is down to 1,797, and his "lead" in Pennsylvania is down to 41K.

10:35: Oh here come some more votes from PA, Bucks and Delaware counties we think. Trump's "lead" down to 36K.

10:42: 26K "lead" in Philadelphia for Trump.

11:06: One of the truths of this election is that Trump improved on his numbers with the rurals, but Joe Biden killed it in cities, and also the suburbs.

Look at these numbers from the Atlanta area:

Those are 10 point swings, and more.

11:09: Hahahahahaha pathetic:

11:22: Always. Always always always.

11:28: Either the GOP has gerrymandered districts to fuck or Democrats are Rudy-Giuliani-grade bad at doing conspiracies.

11:33: Trump's "lead" in PA down to 24,484.

12:04: Trump's "lead" in PA down to 22K.

12:06: OK, we are going to lie on the couch but keep watching Kornacki. If it happens tonight and we are awake, we will say it here!

If not ... somebody else will say it!

9:00 a.m. the next day, we just woke up but we are not here today because we won't work on Fridays:

As expected, Clayton County came in overnight in Georgia and Joe Biden now leads there.

However, Philly just reported a big dump, and Joe Biden has officially taken the lead, and ...

ELECTED.

Decision Desk was first, but others will surely call very soon.

PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN AND ...

DRUMROLL PLEASE ...

beyonce homecoming GIF Giphy

MADAM VICE-PRESIDENT-ELECT KAMALA HARRIS.

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled Wonkette, which on Fridays involves Evan going back to sleep.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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