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Can We Talk About The Utter Sadness Of Breitbart's Melania Fashion Coverage?

Culture

Despite having actually been a former fashion model, Poor Melanie Trump just can't get any love from fashion media. Mostly because she is married to a monster and no one likes her enough to give a damn what kind of shoes she is wearing. This is a thing that low-key irks the fuck out of many conservatives, particularly because of all the attention and coverage Michelle Obama got for her fashion sense.


I think a lot of them imagined that Melanie was gonna get to be the next Jackie O, and that -- to some degree -- postive coverage of her would reflect well on Trump and normalize him, to a degree. Because fashion coverage of what the First Lady wears is very much business as usual. Allowing her to be a fashion icon would also be, in a way, a foot in the cultural door for conservatives in general.

But alas, the only time anyone ever talks about her outfits is when she is wearing something stupid.




Shit, even Women's Wear Daily is all like "Melania wore a Victoria Beckham dress... LOOK AT HOW EVERYONE HATES HER TERRIBLE HUSBAND!"

Thus, Breitbart has decided that they must pick up the slack and try to do all the breathless coverage of Melanie's wardrobe choices that they imagine she would get if the press actually liked her. Thus, they created a column, "Fashion Notes," exclusively for the purpose of talking about how nice she looks. Like, an entire fashion vertical in which they only talk about what one person wears. Very normal.

The person in charge of this coverage is one John Binder, who covers both this beat and the "Mexicans are SCARY!" beat, and who imitates fashion writing with all the finesse of me trying to do sports writing and going way overboard trying to imitate that.

Seriously, it is so sad:

Mrs. Trump pulled off three wardrobe changes on her final day in England, starting with a posh navy, maroon, tan, and orange flare dress by Victoria Beckham, the Spice Girl-turned-fashion designer. The dress was paired with Mrs. Trump's patent leather nude Christian Louboutin stilettos, the shoe that she has repeatedly worn through this international trip.

The color-blocked dress was instantly recognizable as a VB staple, as Victoria has worn a similar rendition of the fit and flare design. Much like Mrs. Trump, Victoria has made a name for herself on the world stage with her sophisticated presence and refined fashion choices.

Mrs. Trump wore the dress to play British bocce with children, showing off her fun side after a poised, elegant evening where she stunned the world in a chiffon caped gown by J. Mendel.


Gotta love the creepy way they mostly refer to her as "Mrs. Trump."

Now, as you might imagine, the Breitbart commentariat is... not exactly very fashion forward. I mean, just look at those horror clogs the site tried to sell me next to the article in the main pic! So each time one of these articles is published, literally all they talk about is how she is "classy," unlike that Michelle OBUMMER!

how nice it is having a first class first lady,, i can just imagine that uncouth goon mooch obama meeting the queen of england ,, probably wear chrome spandex to enunciate her huge ass ,, obama's clintons bush's are completely classless ,, bunch of freaking hog callers

Mostly they are more racist than that.

Then there are the comments in which people try super hard to pretend they actually care about Melanie.

I am just having so much FUN following the FABULAS FIRST LADY! I save it for the last of the day, so I can relax and take my time, and finish my day with a smile on my face, and joy in my heart!

FLOTUS IS MAGA

Behold, the sadness:



Now, this is not to say that there isn't a ton of milquetoast "Melania wore an outfit!" coverage out there. Of course there is! It's just... no one really cares about it or pays any attention to it whatsoever. Then again, no one really gushed over Imelda Marcos' shoe collection either.

[ Breitbart]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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