Can You Hear Stacey Abrams Now??? ... GOOD.

WE FUCKING DID IT. We just sent Senator Kelly Loeffler packing. And God willing and the crick don't rise, that bony sack of racist crap will take her self-dealing buddy Senator David Perdue with her. Come on DeKalb County!

As of this typing, Dave Wasserman has seen enough in the special election. Rev. Raphael Warnock will soon be Senator Raphael Warnock (D-Georgia), and Kelly Loeffler will go back to being an evil gazillionaire who eats puppies (probably), is despised by the WNBA team she owns (definitely), and spends the rest of her miserable life trying to wash off that Trump stink (we hope).

Welcome to the New South, and welcome to the Sunbelt Strategy.

Maybe shouting SOCIALISM! over and over and over like a demented Barbie doll while attacking Black churches is a lousy electoral strategy when one-third of the electorate is Black and at least some of the other two-thirds are not raging, racist assholes? It's a possibility! And one that Kelly Loeffler is going to have lots of time to ponder. BYE, GIRL!

Senator-elect Warnock — and Your Wonkette is delighted to call him that! — will be the first Black senator from Georgia ever, and the first Black senator from a Confederate State to take his seat by election, rather than appointment. He grew up poor, the eleventh of 12 children, going on to become a pastor in Martin Luther King's Ebenezer Baptist Church, and delivering a benediction at Barack Obama's second inauguration. This is a fundamentally good and decent man, whom Georgians are lucky to have representing them in the senate.

Thank you, Georgia!

As for Jon Ossoff, we won't torture you with screenshots of THE NEEDLE, and we may be fighting this one out a couple more days. But things look pretty good for the 33-year-old investigative journalist who looks likely to end David Perdue's Senate career. And indeed it would be poetry if the guy who lost to Karen Handel in the contest to take over Tom Price's term in 2017 wound up clinching the Senate majority for Democrats by beating a stuffed shirt like David Perdue. Remember when Ossoff's $23 million House race seemed scandalously expensive? We were so young!

Meanwhile Karen Handel is gone, thanks to Lucy McBath. Mitch McConnell's gavel is slipping away by the second. And Trump is on the way out the door.

What's that? Loser says WHAT?

Hahahaha, fuck off. Although, he's probably right about one thing. Well, right-ish. Remember last week when that whiner tweeted, "I saved at least 8 Republican Senators, including Mitch, from losing in the last Rigged (for President) Election"? Well, guess what? Without the greatest turnout machine ever invented on the ballot — we'll give him that one for sure — guess who didn't show up today?

That's right, it was REPUBLICANS. In county after county, GOP turnout was down compared to November. And in those tight races, that's what took out Kelly Loeffler and probably David Perdue.

So, thanks, President Trump. Without 10 weeks of histrionics and attacks on Republican leaders in Georgia and setting your own goddamn house on fire, this probably wouldn't have happened.

Goddess bless!

UPDATE: OMGGGG, WE WON! This four-year waking nightmare is almost over. We're about to control the House, and the Senate, and the White House.

Mitch McConnell will be Minority Leader, and Chuck Schumer will take the gavel to become Majority Leader. And, please, do not start shitting on Schumer, because now is the time we just breathe, and cry, and congratulate ourselves on surviving the past four years. We made it to the other side, and nothing that happens tomorrow will change that.

It's over. We did it. Good night.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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