Canada Shows Up USA Yet Again, Makes National Anthem Gender-Neutral

You know who is super nice? The Canadians! They are very friendly, they have way better candy than we do, let you drink there when you are 19, and allow you to buy Tylenol with codeine in it over the counter. Plus, "The Littlest Hobo" is basically the best show to have ever existed. And now they are making their already excellent national anthem better, too.

I have always been very jealous of Canada's national anthem, as it is much prettier than the one we've got. Because seriously, our national anthem is about bombs and exactly nobody sounds good singing it. As Laurie Anderson says, it's "just a lot of questions written during a fire."

See? "O Canada!" is a very cheerful national anthem, with no mention of bombs!

O Canada!

Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

And on Wednesday, Canada's House of Commons voted 225 to 74 to make their national anthem even better , by including everybody in it, not just sons! Hooray! If it passes the Senate, which it is expected to do, the new lyrics will be "in all of us command," rather than "all thy sons."

The measure is the dying wish of Liberal MP Mauril Bélanger, who has been trying to get this done for years now. Bélanger was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) several months back, and his condition is rapidly deteriorating. Liberals in the House have pushed the legislation through so that he can hopefully see it happen before he dies. That is so nice! It's two nice things! Fulfilling someone's dying wish AND making the national anthem more inclusive. How great is that? YAY CANADA, keep being nice, and stuff! You are officially forgiven for Nickelback!

[ The Atlantic ]