Candace Owens Pretty Sure Trump Too Old To Be Hip To Anti-Vax Nonsense Or Snake Oil That Turns Skin Blue

Snake Oil And General Woo
Candace Owens Pretty Sure Trump Too Old To Be Hip To Anti-Vax Nonsense Or Snake Oil That Turns Skin Blue

Candace Owens | Candace Owens speaking with attendees at the… | Flickr

It's been a rough week for Candace Owens. The conservative media personality hosted an awkward interview with former (whether he knows it or not) president Donald Trump, in which Trump said the vaccines work and that people should take them if they do not want to die. This led to a moderate amount of pushback on the right, until they did their traditional rationalization shuffle and settled on several "4D chess" explanations for why Trump would say such a thing.

One of the most popular of these was that this was a "white hat" operation in which Trump says he is for the vaccine even though he's really not, for a variety of reasons, including somehow to show the MSM that his followers are "free thinkers" who don't just do everything he says. My personal favorite, however, was that it was all a coded message about, yes, Satanic pedophile rings, because whenever Trump or anyone associated with him talks about "people getting sick," they are actually talking about pedophiles, and when they talk about vaccinating people they are actually talking about arresting all of said pedophiles. Naturally!

A completely batshit diagram "analyzing" various statements from various people that are supposed to be secret coded messages about Satanic pedophile rings.

Owens's personal explanation, however, was that Trump was simply too old to be hep to all the important anti-vaccine bullshit. and just comes from a generation where they trusted vaccines and thought vaccines were good.

After expressing her horror that people would think Meghan McCain, with whom Owens bickered on Twitter over Trump's stance on the vaccine, would know more about "health" than Joe Rogan (ostensibly because McCain is not ridiculously skinny, while Rogan has muscles), Owens explained that Trump clearly wasn't going to the "obscure websites" that contain the "real" information about vaccines, and instead was just trusting the mainstream media.

She said:

"People oftentimes forget that, like, how old Trump is, he comes from a generation — I’ve seen other people that are older have the exact same perspective, like, they came from a time before TV, before internet, before being able to conduct their independent research. And everything that they read in a newspaper that was pitched to them, they believed that that was a reality. And one of those things was, you know, this push for vaccines and believing that people were gonna die without vaccines. And so I believe that his support of the vaccine is genuine and it's not based in any corruption at all, I think he actually believes those things and people are saying 'How is he ignoring all the people that are being injured?' And people are sending Rumble videos, and all of these obscure websites, and I believe also that he only reads the mainstream media news, believe it or not, I do not believe that Trump reads or partakes in any other news sources."

This flies in the face of the fact that much of the anti-vaxx "information" comes from ridiculous email forwards passed around by people in their seventies. But sure, why not.

Continuing her rant about vaccines, Owens cited the current number of US women who die of cervical cancer per year as evidence that taking the HPV vaccine was ridiculous. The problem with this theory, however, is that cervical cancer was once the leading cause of cancer death among women, but thanks to pap smears and the vaccine, those rates have decreased dramatically, most dramatically among women in the age range most likely to have received the vaccine.

She also complained about doctors recommending her baby get the Hepatitis B vaccine, as if they were insinuating that her baby was going to have sex or do heroin. It probably would have been helpful for her to know that these are not actually the only ways to contract Hepatitis B. Also, she did not think her baby needed the tetanus vaccine because she wasn't going to let her baby have "open, festering wounds" anyway. She's pretty sure something "evil" is going on with the fact that babies get four tetanus vaccine shots, when tetanus was never that common before the vaccine anyway. Sure, it has a super high mortality rate when people do contract it, but Candace knows her child would never do that, so there. It all makes sense so long as you have psychic powers.

While Candace Owens clearly does not like vaccines, she does like colloidal silver. This is another thing Trump must not be young and cool enough to know about, because if he did, his skin would likely be another unnatural color entirely, as colloidal silver is known to turn one's skin blue.

Like this young hepcat:

Sadly, Paul 'Papa Smurf' Karason passed away in 2013

Owens said she takes a teaspoon a day and more when she's sick, noting that this is a thing other people probably know nothing about. You know, unless they read literally anything at all about bullshit COVID cures, as colloidal silver has been in the news a lot over the past two years. People know what colloidal silver is, they just do not ingest it because they don't want to turn out like Papa Smurf up there.

Colloidal silver, for the record, has no known health benefits when taken internally. It has, however, been linked to kidney damage. So there's that.

In conclusion, do not go taking health advice from Candace Owens.

[Daily Beast]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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