Overcompensating Millionaire With Cartoonishly Large House Threatens Employees With Chain Letter
If you work - and in this Obama economy, at least a few of you do, probably - then it's about a 92% certainty that your boss is a dick.
Your boss, however, is not nearly as much of a dick as David Siegel, founder and CEO of Westgate Resorts, and builder of a 90,000 square foot house, who straight stole a fake chain letter about how high taxes would force him to kill and/or fire all of his employees, changed "taxes" to "Obama", and then seriously sent that shit like a stone cold G.
The letter is insanely long, because SURPRISE someone insanely egotistical enough to threaten their employees' jobs if they vote the wrong way is not good at brevity, but some juicy excerpts are below.
In spite of all of the challenges we have faced, the good news is this: The economy doesn't currently pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is another 4 years of the same Presidential administration. Of course, as your employer, I can't tell you whom to vote for, and I certainly wouldn't interfere with your right to vote for whomever you choose.
Goodness me, no! He would just like to share a well-reasoned missive on why you will destroy America with your contrary opinion. First, we must understand where he's coming from. Siegel has sacrificed and sacrificed, even to the point where he is incapable of building a house as large as 30 big suburban homes.
I put my time, my money, and my life into this business — with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford to buy whatever I wanted. Even to this day, every dime I earn goes back into this company. Over the past four years I have had to stop building my dream house, cut back on all of my expenses, and take my kids out of private schools simply to keep this company strong and to keep you employed.
Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.
YOU GOT YER OBAMAHOUSE YET??? If so, kick back in your Obamahammock and drink your Obamalatte, because Siegel would like you to Obamastand why he is nearly destitute (read: not at all destitute): Obama invented taxes to give Siegel's money to you.
Unfortunately, the costs of running a business have gotten out of control, and let me tell you why: We are being taxed to death and the government thinks we don't pay enough. We pay state taxes, federal taxes, property taxes, sales and use taxes, payroll taxes, workers compensation taxes and unemployment taxes. I even have to hire an entire department to manage all these taxes. The question I have is this: Who is really stimulating the economy? Is it the Government that wants to take money from those who have earned it and give it to those who have not, or is it people like me who built a company out of his garage and directly employs over 7000 people and hosts over 3 million people per year with a great vacation?
Not that great, bro. It is so strange how Obama put all of these taxes in place and then raised them mercilessly. We remember the Karl Marx State Federal Property Sale Use Payroll Workers' Comp Unemployment Omnibus Fucking You With Taxes Bill of 2009 fondly.
So where am I going with all this? It's quite simple. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current President plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company. Rather than grow this company I will be forced to cut back. This means fewer jobs, less benefits and certainly less opportunity for everyone.
Apparently, the eighteen new taxes Barack Obama introduced over the past four years were bad, but the nineteenth will be the death knell of capitalism.
You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities. If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about.
You have to think that immediately after Siegel hit send on this e-mail, he turned to a tiny, bulbous henchman who frequently commits pratfalls when nervously carrying out his master's bidding and cackled until he lost his voice.
I miss early-90s Disney afternoon cartoons.